


Remain Nameless

by violetends



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Alternate Universe - Twins, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Mental Anguish, Mental Instability, Physical Abuse, Self-Harm, Sibling Rivalry, Smut, Threesome - F/M/M, Twins
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-25
Updated: 2018-02-25
Packaged: 2019-03-24 02:31:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 23,926
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13801509
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/violetends/pseuds/violetends
Summary: AU: The CCG has grated Touka access to tend to Prisoner #240. She remembers him when he did have a name. Ken Kaneki. And all she wants to do is help him...but she has to be careful because she's under the watchful eye of Ken's twin, Haise Sasaki. She's part of the brothers' twisted world and desperately tries to make things right again.





	1. Part One

**-**

He has a name, but they call him number 240. They refuse to tell him who he really is. They leave him to suffer every day and every night. And it goes on for days. Then weeks. Will it go on for longer? Knowing how things work around here, she’s certain they will keep him prisoner.

He doesn’t eat. He doesn’t sleep. He doesn’t do anything but fall deeper into a pit of agony.

He’s consumed by nightmares that tear away at his mind, his insides feel like they’re ripping apart, and there’s so much pain all he does is create even more pain. It’s all he knows now.

He claws at his eyes every night. His nails are ripped off his body from scratching at the door and floor, leaving streaks of blood everywhere. And when they grow back, it’s repeated.

He screams. He wails. And he’s ignored.

They say he throws fits, worse than a child. No one has the patience for him and yet they have to keep trying with him.

Because he’s important. He’s too important to let slip away.

That’s why they finally give her the task in helping him, but barely.

She has strict rules to follow. If she breaks any of them…

_Stay strong._

She’s been given the task to change his badges at night.

They told her it wouldn’t be easy. That she might get hurt. But it’s okay. He won’t hurt her. She knows he won’t.

She looks through the small window to his room. She can barely see anything. It’s like a prison. Dark, empty, and lonely.

She slips into the room and finds him in the middle of the room, on the floor and curled up in a ball. The light in the room is very dim, but she can still see him scratching his eyes through his bloodied bandages.

It breaks her heart to see him like this.

He needs more attention. He needs care. He needs love.

_What have they done to you?_

“Who—Who’s there?!” He sits up, hearing and feeling someone in his room. He’s looking around as if he can see when he clearly can’t.

“I’m here to change your badges…” She can’t call him number 240. That’s his name in here, but it’s not who he is inside.

Suddenly his face changes. His jaw drops and his head turns, his ears are searching for her voice.

Her voice soothes him deep in his bones as if they’ve heard that voice before.

She slowly walks over to him with her tray and gets down on her knees in front of him.

He remains still as if he’s in a trance, but his hands are flat on the floor with his nails digging into it, breaking them.

She sets her tray down beside her and is quick to place her hands over his. He stops. A strained sound escapes from him.

Then she stares at his half bandaged face that’s covered in blood and tears. She then cups his face in her hands and he lets out a gasp at her touch. He’s never been touched this way…

She’s overwhelmed by it all, she has to leave before she falls apart.

She pulls away from him, grabs her tray, and stands up to leave. But he’s already panicking from the loss of contact.

“No, no, no, no, NO! Please! No!” His arms are out, trying to find her.

He’s starting to cry again. She’s made things worse.

“Please…please don’t leave me!” He begs.

Her heart stings as she pulls away from him, leaving him to crawl on the floor. He’s reaching out for her and crying out for her to stay.

She keeps going.

_Don’t look back._

She shouldn’t have come to see him. She’s done for.

-

The next night she finds the will to go on with her task.

“Are you sure?” They ask her. She gives a strong nod. She can do this. She has to for him.

She can hear him wailing as she walks up to his room. Always in so much pain and left alone to deal with it.

When she enters his room, he’s once again clawing at his eyes as he sits on his bed. But he goes still when he hears the door, when he senses her there.

He can smell her.

Why does she smell so familiar?

“Is…is that y—you?” He asks, choking.

“It’s me.” She lets out.

“What’s your—your…” He struggles to find the word because he doesn’t even have one.

“Name?” She finishes for him.

“Yes…”

She looks away from him, looking up at a dark corner where she know they are watching and listening. She desperately wishes she could tell him. She wants to hear him say her name.

“I can’t tell you.”

_It’s not allowed._

She watches him slide off his bed until he’s down to his knees and begins to crawl towards her, using her scent as a guide.

Once he’s reached her, his hands finding her feet and then her ankles, he bows down and starts to cry again. His grip around her ankle tightens, making her wince in pain.

“Please…help me.” He whimpers. “Please!”

What can she do? She wishes she could take him away from this place. She wishes she could bring him back home where he belongs. She wishes she could tell him everything she wants him to know. But she can’t and that makes her suffer.

She gets down on her knees again for him. Setting her tray aside and reaching out for him. This time she takes him in her arms. Their knees are pressed together and he’s fallen into her body like a broken rag doll.

His head rests against her chest, rising with every calm breath she took. He can hear her heartbeat and it somehow soothes him even more than her voice, but at the same time brings about more tears.

She cradles his head and softly strokes his matted hair. She’s trying so hard to not fall apart. She can feel his hands grasping at her lab coat, fisting them because he always needs to be gripping at something.

_So broken._

“Does this help?” She asks softly.

All he can do is nod. It does help, but only temporarily. She can feel his whole body shaking from all the emotions overwhelming him. Owning him. She holds him for a good while before she’s calmed him enough to pull him away just enough for her to start undoing the bandage around his eyes.

She hoped for some improvement since his capture, but as the last of the bandage comes off she can see he’s still in terrible shape.

His eyes are trying to grow back, but he keeps clawing at them, preventing them from healing. It looks like two black holes where his eyes should be. Fresh and dried up blood cover most of his face and tears have caused blood to streak down his neck and soak the front side of his robe.

She can feel tears building up in her eyes, but she fights to keep herself together. She grabs the wet rag from the tray and starts to gently clean his face with it, starting around his eyes and then his cheeks.

“You have to stop doing this to yourself…” She speaks in a small voice.

“I deserve this…I deserve all of this…I deserve it…” He starts to say, over and over and the tears flow again. She then covers his mouth with her fingers to stop him from talking.

“Shhhh, you don’t deserve any of this. Please try to believe that.” She tells him. She’s not lying to him. He deserves better, so much better.

He sighs against her fingers. Her fingers feel good against his lips. They’re so soft, so warm. He yearns for more when she takes her hand away from his mouth.

Once she’s cleaned him enough, she sits back to take in his features. Despite his missing eyes, he’s still very much him. There’s just so much sadness in him and it’s draining him of life. He’s slowly killing himself.

“If I bring you food, will you try to eat it?” She asks him. His head drops and says nothing, giving her his answer.  _No_. “For me?” She presses. His ears perk up a little.

_For her._

He can do it for her. Just for her.

He gives her a small nod, still shaking.

“Good.” She smiles and his lips twitch, as if he can tell she’s smiling.

She goes on to wrap a fresh bandage around his eyes and when she’s done, her hands linger over his face, wanting to caress him. He’s sitting there, waiting and desperate to keep feeling her touch on him in any way possible. His body and soul crave all of her.

She quickly puts her hands in her lap. She has to stop.

_Be careful._

She starts to move, but he somehow knows where her hands are and his grips them. He’s scared she’s leaving him again.

“Don’t worry, I’m coming back.” She pulls her hands out of his grip and whimpers start to come out from him. “I promise, I’ll be back.” She reassures him.

She watches as he slowly falls over onto his side on the floor, hugging himself, and panting from a racing heart. He’s trying to keep calm, but he’s struggling.

She makes a quick exit, but within a few minutes she back inside his room with a tray of his food.

It’s some kind of prepared goop that they feed prisoners. She’s never thought to ask what it is, in fact she doesn’t want to know because not even a dog would eat it.

He immediately sits up when he senses her back. She can see he’s been crying, but at least it looks like he’s left his eyes alone.

She sits in front of him and places the tray on her lap, taking a spoonful of goop and telling him to open his mouth. And he does.

She feeds him slowly. He doesn’t seem to mind the taste, but maybe because he’s so hungry.

Maybe this is improvement.

He finishes his meal and she can tell it has helped with getting some color back to his face. She’s a little relieved that he will survive another night and hopes this will lead to better things for him.

But then there’s a knock on the door.

“Boss says time’s up!” Someone says.

One hour. She’s given only one hour with him. That’s it. She doesn’t get any more time than that.

She starts to get up and he’s already sobbing.

“I’m sorry.” She lets out as she makes another quick getaway. And once she’s out the door she can hear him cry out for her again.

“Please come back! I can’t…I don’t want to be alone! PLEASE DON’T LEAVE ME ALONE!!” He screams and she can hear him banging at the door, no doubt already causing harm to himself. It breaks her heart all over again.

_Just walk away._

-

She thought it would get easier with time, but after a few late night visits, it creates a chronic pain that lingers in her chest.

But she’s praised for her hard work. They’ve noticed a slight improvement with 240. At least he’s eating.

He’s still in pain though and she seems to be helping alleviate it, but at the same time making it worse.

He continues to fall into his pattern of self harm, still making her have to change his bandages. It gets to a point where she has to ask him why. She wants to understand what he’s going through to better help him. If she can. She wants to. Whatever it takes.

She’s on her knees as she gently cleans his face. He sits there as calm as he can try to be. It’s become routine.

“Why do you keep ruining your eyes?” She asks him as her fingers trace over the area just below his eyes, feeling wetness from the tears that seem to always be there.

“Nightmares…all I see is nightmares…when I’m sleeping…when I’m awake…it’s all I see. I don’t want to see anymore…” It hurts to hear him say that.

“Would you like me to read to you sometime?” She suggests.

“Re—Read?” He sounds confused. He used to love to read so goddamn much and now…

“I can bring in some books for you. I can read you some stories, would you like that?” She’s suggesting it because she hopes maybe stories will distract him, give him something to maybe replace those nightmares he has.

Anything that would make her keep talking, he wanted. He just wanted to keep hearing her voice.

“Y—Yes…” He whispers.

She smiles again, clinging on to hope.

“Next time I will—“ She falls silent when she suddenly feels his hands cup her face. She completely frozen, unable to move.

He very slowly and tenderly lets his fingers feel her skin, letting his finger tips trace over her features. He feels around her jaw, her cheekbones, her eyes and nose.

She can feel her heart start to race. She’s staring right at him even though he can’t see her.

His fingers trace the outline of her mouth, that’s parted from a gasp she lets out. His fingers linger there. He’s mentally picturing her in his head.

“You—you’re beautiful…” He murmurs.

She shuts her eyes, feeling tears sting them.

_Stop this, before it gets worse._

She struggles to reach up, placing her hands over his, but then takes a firm grip and pulls him away from her.

“Don’t do that.” Her voice cracks.

He recoils slightly, letting his head hang as if he’s been scolded. “I’m…I’m sorry…” He fists his hair and starts to rock back and forth.

She can’t stay to watch this. She gets up to leave just as he starts to cry.

_Will it ever stop?_

-


	2. Part Two

-

The next night she visits him, she’s surprised that his bandages have been left intact. He hasn’t gouged out his eyes.

That’s an improvement. A major one.

But he’s maintaining his distance. He doesn’t get excited or attempt to crawl over toward hers like he usually does.

Was it because of what happened last time? She feels her heart sink a little since she liked seeing him…want her around.

He’s sitting on his bed, hugging his knees up to his chest and crying softly. That hasn’t changed.

She has brought in her usual tray to treat his wounds, but also a book. She did tell him she would.

She sets everything down on the floor by the bed and sits down next to him, leaving a couple of feet between them.

She notices him start turn away from her uncomfortably. What did she do wrong?

“I guess I don’t need to change your bandages tonight.” She lets out softly, her voice hinting to him that she was smiling.

“No nightmares.” He says, resting his cheek on his knees. He hugged himself tighter. “I…I dreamt of you…” He adds barely above whisper.

He dreamt of her?

“I guess it was a good dream, huh?” She asked, a little curious to know what exactly he dreamt about. It kept him from scratching out his eyes.

“So pretty…like an angel…” He started to cry even more, his lips quivering. “You held me…you kept telling me everything would be o—okay…even when they’re not…” He starts to rock back and forth, holding his head as if there’s something nagging him, pushing him to revert to his old ways. The nightmares were still clear to him. Still haunting him.

“It is going to be okay…” She reached out to him, placing her hands on his arms to let him know she was there. But he was quick to turn away from her completely.

“No…you said stop…I stopped…” He was afraid of being scolded again. That’s why he didn’t want her touching him, it would make him want to touch her back.

She looked up at the camera, seeing the red light on. She couldn’t be trusted. He didn’t trust her.

She reached down to pick up the book, a favorite of his even if he couldn’t remember.

“I brought a book for you,” She turned to him, seeing him lift his head slightly. “Would you like me to read it to you?”

He nodded.

She smiled as she opened the book and began to read. “Metamorphosis, by Franz Kafka. Chapter one. As Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from uneasy dreams he found himself transformed in his bed into a gigantic insect…”

The whole time he sat there, listening carefully to every word. Her voice leaving him in a trance as the story itself was leaving a powerful impact on him. He had stopped crying and actually sat up straight, but still on his knees.

It was as though words were giving him strength.

He didn’t want her to stop.

But eventually she had to. Time was almost up.

“Please…don’t stop…” His heart was racing from dread.

“I’ll read some more tomorrow, okay? I promise.” She sighed.

He seemed to relax a bit more when he heard her say promise.

She always kept her promise.

But before she could leave she wanted to do something and she hoped he would let her.

“Before I leave, let me take off your bandages.” She said softly.

He shook his head.

“Don’t you want to see again?” She sounds a little sad.

“No. No….no.” He’s clawing at his bandages.

She knew what would get him to say yes.

“Don’t you want to see me?” She asked.

She could hear him make strained sounds, as if he was struggling to give his answer.

“S—sss—see you?” He clenched his jaw and then nodded.

Now she was getting nervous.

Would he remember her when he finally saw her?

She got closer to him, close enough for her to reach over and start to undo his bandages. She slowly unwrapped the white mesh from his around head, letting the last of it to fall from his face.

His eyes were shut, but there were there. The skin around his eyes was reddened, raw and covered in dark veins, a sign that they were still healing. He was still weak.

She wanted to sooth his eyes with her fingers…her lips…

“Open your eyes…” She wanted to call him by his name, but she caught herself.

His brows came together in a pain expression and he let out strained whimpers. He was too afraid of what he would see.

“It’s okay…it’s okay…” She whispered.

_You can do this…_

He slowly began to open his eyes until they were wide open and staring directly into hers.

_Ken Kaneki…_

His eyes became glassy from tears building up in them, until he let them fall, a stream of tears flowing down his face, but he didn’t look sad.

“Why are you crying?” She asked him.

“You—you’re so…so beautiful…more beautiful than…” He trailed off as his eyes continued to look over her, capturing every single detail. “I—I feel it in my bones…that I knew you before…” He couldn’t finish speaking, he had become so overwhelmed with emotions.

Parts of him began to twitch, as if he was losing control of himself.

He started to wail again, shutting his eyes as he started to fist his hair in his hands and shook…from rage.

“YOU WERE TAKEN AWAY FROM ME! EVERYONE WAS TAKEN AWAY FROM ME! I COULDN’T PROTECT ANYONE!! I’M SO WEAK…SO FUCKING WEAK! GIVE HER BACK TO ME! PLEASE! TOU—TOUKA!!!”

He was starting to remember…

She reached up, placing her fingers over her mouth as she felt her own tears building up in her eyes.

And before she knew it a group men rushed into the room, two of them forcibly taking her out of his room as the other two restrained him.

“Don’t hurt him!” She cried, struggling to get free.

But they didn’t listen. They never listen.

The men drag her further and further away and drop her off past the restricted doors. She tries the code she has, but it doesn’t work.

Her clearance has been revoked leaving her unable to get back in to check on him. To make sure he’s okay, fearing that they are hurting him.

 _Fuck_.

“Touka.” She hears her name. She suddenly goes still and swallows hard before slowly turning around to face him. The Black Reaper.

That is the name the CCG call him by, but Touka knows him as Haise…Ken’s identical twin brother.

She started to tremble.

“Did he hurt you?” Haise asked.

“No.” Touka couldn’t look up at him.

“This was bound to happen at some point, I just didn’t expect it to be so soon.” He sighed. “Don’t worry, by tomorrow he won’t remember what happened tonight.”

“Did you hurt him?” She asks, finally lifting her eyes to look at him.

“Do you really think I would hurt my own brother?” He asked and seemed bothered by her question.

_You made him this way, you have him locked up like an animal and your subordinates treat him like shit._

She didn’t answer. But Haise dropped the subject and offered his hand to her.

“Come on, it’s time to go.”

Touka looked back at the door that would have led her back to him.

“He’s fine.” Haise reminds her.

She takes Haise hand and he leads her away, taking her back to home they shared. She knew where the night would end up, but her mind was still reeling from what happened.

He remembered her. But she had become a painful memory.

Her heart stung.

-

She had gotten her clearance revoked that night for her “safety”, but she now had it back. She was warned, however, to not push to much on him to remember last night.

She’s eager to see him again the next night, but at the same time dreaded it.

What if he had another episode? Or worse what if he ended up hating her for the pain she caused him?

_What if…_

The moment she entered the room she could tell something was off.

He sat on his bed, back straight and looking blankly at nothing in front of him. But when he noticed she was there he turned to her and gave her an unsettling smile.

As if he was forcing himself to put on a happy face.

What had they done to him?

She was aware they had a variety of drugs and other forceful methods to keep their prisoners in check. It was cruelty in her eyes. And if they used any of that on him…

“Hey.” She let out. But he said nothing and his fake smile had faded, turning back to stare at nothing.

She walked up to him with her tray and book in hand, but set them on the floor next to the bed. She sat down next to him, but kept a good enough distance between them. Her hands curled up into balls in her lap.

He looked empty.

“Are you okay?” She asked him, looking at him worryingly and trying to see if she would get a reaction out of him.

“I’m…fine.” He let out, sounding almost robotic.

She sighed. “Do you remember anything from last night?”

“Last night?” His brows came together, he looked so confused. “Last night…last night…” He kept repeating the same thing over and over.

He scratched his head and looked at her attentively. “You…read to me. And…I—I told you how beautiful you were…”

She gave him a small smile and nodded at him. He didn’t forget everything. She felt so relieved.

His eyes had healed a bit more, but they were still red and there was a thick red ring around his irises, veins scattering through the whites of his eyes and into his skin.

She could see Ken in him. Hidden deep inside. But she began to wonder if maybe this was a good thing that he remained like this, didn’t remember anything. So that he wouldn’t suffer.

That’s not the plan though. He’s supposed to slowly remember who he is, but only certain things.

If he remembers too much, remembers her, they will stop it.

He is to never remember her, because that was never part of the deal, and that’s what hurts her the most.

“Do you remember anything else?” She wondered if he remembered her name.

He shook his head, reaching up to scratch his temple. This was proof they had done something to him to make him forget…

“It’s okay, you will slowly regain your memories.” She assured him, but it felt like a lie.

“Th—Thank you.” He let out nervously.

“For what?”

“For helping…me.” His sad, broken eyes looked at her as if she was his guiding light to get him through this hellhole.

He continued to stare at her in such a way that made her skin go hot. She forced herself to look away from him.

“Would you like for me to read to you some more?” She reached down to pick up the Kafka book.

“P—Please.” He answered, still keeping his eyes on her.

She began to read, picking up from where she left off the last time.

He paid attention to every word she said and how she said them, her voice hitting deep inside him. And he couldn’t keep his eyes off her. His attention lingered over her moving lips…

He had shifted himself closer to her and she had barely noticed until his face was just inches away from hers. She could feel his breath hitting the side of her neck, making her skin prickle and her heart race. She heard him take a deep breath, as if he was taking in her scent.

She shut her eyes, imagining so much more.

_Reaper is watching._

She had to keep her thoughts and wants to herself, even if seeing and sensing Ken so close to her made it a struggle.

He let out a strained groan and immediately turned himself completely away from her, giving her his back and making even more strained, pained sounds.

She had stopped reading when she could hear slick noises coming from his direction. When she glanced over at him she arm movement and his gown lifted up slightly.

It was obvious what he was doing and part of her wanted to leave, that would be the right thing to do, but she didn’t.

She wanted to stay until he finished. This wasn’t shocking to her, if anything it flared up her desires. It brought back memories of when they used to be much closer…

Her hands went up to his back, splaying them out over his covered shoulder blades and making him groan even louder. He tried to keep himself hidden.

“I—I don’t…want y—you…to see me…” He panted, sounding ashamed for what he was doing. He couldn’t help it.

She rested her forehead between his shoulders and shook her head.

“It’s okay.” She murmured.

He continued to stroke himself, pumping his hand harder and faster. His breathing was irregular and he was letting out moans with each erratic breath. She recognized this pattern.

_He’s so close…_

She opened her eyes and stared at the opening of his gown running down along his spine. She grazed her lips over his skin, making him gasp loudly.

“I wish I could help you…” She let out softly against his back.

The way she sounded, her rubbing his back, her breath and lips against his skin was all it took for him to let go.

He cried out over and over as he came, shuddering violently, and making a mess all over his hand, thighs and floor.

Her heart was racing, but she did her best to keep herself composed. It took so much for her to not make him turn around, kiss him, and want more from him…

She watched as he tried to regain his breath and started to cry. She got down to her knees and saw the mess he had caused.

It was a good thing she had her tray to help clean him up, something she didn’t mind in the least.

She grabbed a wet rag from the tray and took his hand in hers, gently cleaning it and moving on to clean his thighs. And once he all clean she wiped the floor, placed the rag back on the try, and move back to sit next to him.

“I’m sorry…I couldn’t…I…” He cried, looking so ashamed and embarrassed.

She shook her head at him. “Don’t be sorry.” She reached up to wipe his tears away with her fingers.

He covered his face with his hands, shaking.

“Why am I like this? Why…do I want you? Why am I here…? Why…?” He cried into hands.

She wished she could give him all the answers. She wished for a lot of things.

“It’s okay, you’re okay.” She said softly wrapping her arms around him, resting head on his shoulder.

_Ken, I am so sorry…_

“Times up!” Someone yelled.

She reluctantly pulled herself away from him, but he was quick to stop her and pull her back down to place a kiss on her lips. She gasped against him.

“I won’t remember this…but I hope you will…” He whispered, with such a sad expression on his face.

She felt her heart completely shatter.

“I will…” She let out and saw a small smile form on his face.

She picked up her tray and book and started to walk away, just as two men walked in to no doubt “fix” him.

Once she was out of the room she dropped her things and fell to the floor on her knees, falling apart.

-

 


	3. Part Three

-

Touka could see a pool of tears beneath her as she stared at the glossy dark floor.

She tried so hard to take as little breaths as possible as every intake of air hurt her chest like a thousand invisible projectiles imbedding themselves in her.

_I won’t remember this…but I hope you will._

She shut her eyes and cried harder.

She then felt an arm wrap around her waist, gently picking her up off the floor and then an arm of hers was set over some strong shoulders.

Touka turned to see Haise, leading her away from Ken’s cell and out of the restricted area. She didn’t have the energy to push herself away from him.

Haise had helped her all the way back to their home which had been a short walking distance from the CCG headquarters. It was a home they had shared for almost two years, but for the past six months, it felt like her own prison.

Haise had sat Touka down on their bed and helped remove her shoes and coat before kneeling down in front of her.

She could barely look at him. Even though he looked exactly like Ken, with the exception of hair color, it hurt to look at him. It didn’t even feel like she was with Haise. He was the Reaper.

“Do you hate me?” Haise asked her.

“I hate the situation…” She let out, still not looking at him.

“You’re getting attached to him.” Haise sighed.

She finally looked at him and frowned. “He doesn’t deserve this.”

“You know he does, Touka. You know if we didn’t have him behind that door he would be a danger to everyone. Ghoul and human.” Haise always had to remind her why Ken was where he was and why controlling his memories was so important. But that still didn’t make what they were doing to Ken right.

It was all wrong.

“He’s your brother, Haise, and you treat him even worse than the other prisoners.” Her eyes burned with tears again.

“That’s not true, Touka.” Haise looked hurt by what she said. “When he crosses the line…”

“He can’t help it!” Touka yelled. “You have to have expected he would remember me. You can’t keep pushing the reset button on him every time he get a hint of memory of me back. You can’t keep…killing him” She covered her face, feeling a mixture of sadness and pure anger surging through her.

She then felt Haise pry her hands away from her face. “I’m sorry, Touka. I should have never had you become a part of this.”

That is not what she wanted to hear. That only made things worse. She was thankful to have what little time she had with Ken, even if they had brought her more pain.

She had to look out for him, because no one else was.

“I still want to be a part of this, Haise, but I’m not happy. Not with you being like this, not with how you are treating Ken.” Touka

Haise pulled away slightly, clenching his jaw and obviously troubled by what she had revealed.

“What will make you happy, Touka?” He asked her, his hands slipping under her skirt so he could rub her outer thighs in a comforting, affectionate manner. He looked up at her with a worried expression, as if he was worried he was losing her because of all that was happening.

The way he looked at her reminded her so much of Ken. The brothers had such soft expressions that showed so much kindness. Used to…

“I want more time with him. This whole one hour time limit…it’s not helping him. If you want me to help him to help you, I need more time.” Touka said softly.

She knew why Haise had given her access to Ken. She hadn’t forgotten the reason. She had made that promise to help Haise and she kept her promises.

Haise’s expression changed slightly, almost into amusement over how Touka was changing the terms of their agreement. His hands left her thighs and went down to her knees, forcing them apart so he could fit himself between her legs.

“Wanting to change the rules. That’s bold of you, Touka. But I’ll give you want you want,” He said as he let a slip back under her skirt, but this time between her legs until his fingers found what he wanted. “Do you have any more demands?” He asked her, petting her clit through her panties.

Touka gasped, already feeling her body react to his touch. After two years, her body had grown weak for him…he knew how to get to her…

“It’s not a demand…” She sighed, feeling a little more pressure from him. Her eyelids were starting grow heavy from the wave of desire hitting her.

“It kind of sounds like it.” Haise said swiftly removing her underwear and pushing her skirt up higher. “Or was there maybe something else you wanted?” He asked, not waiting for an answer as he leaned into her spread legs and ran his tongue over her slick folds and flicked the tip of his tongue over her clit to tease her.

Touka fisted his black hair, pushing him. “Y—Yes…that…more…” She was already panting.

Haise looked up at her just as he covered his mouth over her clit, watching her shut her eyes and start to moan. He had her, he knew he did. He smirked to himself and continued to work his tongue over her. Within moments he had her writhing and saying his name in such a way that made him almost come undone.

He had learned her so well that it didn’t take long to make her come and he lapped up every bit of it, making her shudder as she moaned softly.

Haise pulled away licking his lips as Touka, breathless and in a haze began to undo her shirt.

“Take off your clothes.” She let out.

He grinned at her. “Now that sounds like another demand.”

“Goddamnit, Haise…” She threw her shirt away and started to work on her bra.

“Okay, sorry, sorry, as you  _wish_.” Haise stood up and began to undo his tie and shirt as Touka, who had already taken off her bra and skirt, worked on undoing his pinstripe slacks. She had pulled them down along with his briefs. Haise had shrugged off his shirt and let his pants pool at his feet.

A few seconds later he was completely naked and he wrapped his red scale-like covered hand around his cock, giving it a couple of strokes before running the palm of his hand over the tip to coat himself in his precum. Touka’s eyes were transfixed on his cock that was gleaming and ready to be inside her. Her core was begging her to obey whatever he told her to do. She was that weak for him. But she couldn’t help but look over his arm. Still red, unable to heal properly…

_Because of Ken…_

“I want you on your stomach.” Haise said, snapping Touka out of her trance.

Touka got on her knees on the bed and reached to unzip her skirt.

“No, keep it on, that skirt is getting ruined tonight.”

“Asshole.” Touka grumbled, but gave a little smile as she got onto her stomach.

She then felt movement on the bed and then Haise’s hands grabbing a hold of her hips to prop them up at a certain angle he liked so much and she was sure he was positioning himself. She then felt the tip of his cock squeeze between her swollen folds and then in a swift thrust buried himself inside her.

There was never any warning with Haise, but that’s what she liked with him. He took control almost every time. He was rough and unforgiving. Touka had lost count of the times he had left her so sore she couldn’t walk for a whole day and would still fuck her despite her soreness. Sometimes he would leaving her crying from the overwhelming orgasms he gave her and still wouldn’t let her body recover. Merciless.

Touka whimpered into the sheets, fisting them tightly as Haise’s hips thrust into her with such force her body rocked up and down the mattress. The bed rocked with his movements as well, the headboard slamming against the wall.

They panted, moaned and exchanged curses towards each other. Haise, waiting for Touka to beg for more when he slowed down. She begged him. She pleaded for him to finish her off. The knot in her belly becoming painful, the yearning inside her too much to contain.

Haise leaned down to her back, placing soft kisses against her skin…brushing his lips over her…

“Oh fuck…” Touka knew what was coming and she braced herself. He then ran his tongue flat over the inner curve of Touka’s shoulder, right where her ukaku flared from and it had her crying out from the overwhelming pleasure hitting her. She came violently around his cock which caused him to come as well. He cursed out her name, digging his fingers into her hips as his thrusts became messy movements while Touka cried out his name in repetition into the sheets, feeling tears fall from her eyes. Her orgasm leaving her seeing stars and her body spasming from aftershocks.

He spurted and twitched inside her, filling her so much so they both could feel his semen seeping out of her and collecting on the inside of her skirt under her. She shivered at the feeling, but it was his warmth that soothed her.

Haise pulled out and collapsed next to Touka, catching his breath.

Touka shakily pushed herself up from the bed, making the attempt to leave, but Haise caught her wrist.

“Where are you going?” He asked.

“I think I need a shower.” Touka could still feel his essence dripping out of her.

“I want you to stay that way tonight.” Haise said with a wicked grin. “Besides, maybe I’m not done with you.”

“No, you are done because I’m tired.” Touka smiled, resting her head on his chest, slowly tracing patterns over his pectoral muscle.

She felt Haise wrap his arm around her tightly and kiss the top of her head.

For a moment Touka felt like she had been sent back into time to when things used to be like… _this_. When Haise was in control, but sweet and lovingly. She had completely forgotten about the  _now_.

He had made her forget about Ken. His intention the whole time.

But it hit her. The reality. This was far from okay.

-

Touka awoke to Haise once again gone. It had become routine of him to leave so early in the morning and leave her all alone in their  home. She usually spent her time doing exercises or checking up on the world outside the CCG by phoning Yomo or Nishiki, asking how things were at the shop and if Ayato was doing any better. He hadn’t been the same since he lost Hinami…

No one was okay, not even Touka…

She didn’t know what to expect when she walked into his room. In fact she dreaded it even more than any other time, afraid of the damage they had done to him this time.

She walked in and found him sitting in the far corner of his bed, facing the wall and his hands up around his face. It again made her heart sink when he didn’t even acknowledge her. Was it going to be like this every time now?

“How are you?” She asked softly.

“F—Fine.” His voice was muffled. She walked over to his bed and sat down, keeping a distance. She kept her eyes on him, hoping that at any moment he would turn around and she could look at him and let him look at her. She wanted to feel his eyes on her. It made her feel…

“Do you remember anything from last night?” She had to ask, already knowing the answer, but she clung onto some hope.

“Mhmm…” He was letting out noises, pained sounds, as if thinking was hurting him. He reached up to scratch his temple. “You…you read to me again?”

_And more…a lot more._

“Th—That’s right.” She let out trying to hide her sadness from slipping into her voice. Her fingers lightly traced over her lips, feeling the ghost of his kiss. The kiss he could no longer remember.

He still wouldn’t turn around, but she could hear him sniffling and see his hands fisting his face.

“Why don’t you turn around and I’ll read to you? Maybe we can even change it up and you can read to me, I know you can do that now.” She said with a smile, hoping he could sense her trying to cheer him up. She started to reach out to him, but she had barely touched his shoulder when he pulled away from her and started rocking back and forth in his corner.

A trigger went off inside him.

“This isn’t right…not right…don’t touch m—me…I’m bad…I’m what’s wrong…everything is—is wrong…everything…everyone…wrong…gone…” He was rambling. Nothing was making sense. He was making strained sounds again, the smallest of whimpers.

She was getting worried. It sounded as though he was going back to his old ways which meant…

_Not again…_

She reached out for him again, this time forcibly making him turn to face her.

Her eyes went wide with horror.

He had been picking at his eyes again. There was tears and blood running down his face with one of his eyes gone, replaced with just another empty hole and the skin around his eyes almost completely gone, leaving his one intact eye completely bloodshot and exposed. She covered her mouth in complete shock, watching as he ripped off a piece of hanging flesh from around his eye.

“No!” She flung herself over him, pulling his hands away from his face and placing hers protectively over his exposed eyes to keep them from getting picked at again. “Please stop! Please!” She pleaded.

He continued to crying and she could feel his tears mixed with blood cover her hands and run down her wrists and arms. It was bringing tears of her own in her eyes.

She turned to the camera in the corner and shook her head at it. “For fuck’s sake, get me bandages!” She yelled at it, knowing Haise or one of his subordinates was watching and listening. She continued to protect his eyes, telling him ’no’ whenever he tried reaching up to them until his hands finally settled on latching onto her sweater.

Within a few minutes a man walked in with a tray of bandages and other first aid necessities, handing it over to her before leaving the room. She immediately got to dousing her hands in alcohol to clean up her hands. She stared at them for a moment to see them tremble before fisting them tightly to shake out of the shock she was in and preparing herself to aid him.

She looked up at him, seeing the full extent of the damage he had done. She was surprised the one eyeball he still had wasn’t hanging out of the hole he had created from ripping off his skin.

She then soaked some gauze with hydrogen peroxide and began to clean his face and around his wounds. He sat there, still holding on to her and sobbing. Whatever they had done to him, they set him back on his progress and fucking tore her apart.

_Goddamn you, Haise._

It took a good while for her to clean him well, but there was still a small never ending stream of blood and tears falling down his face. She carefully wrapped the bandages around his eyes again, wishing she didn’t have to do this again.

“I’m—I’m sorry…” He sobbed. But she didn’t say anything

Once she was done, she could tell he was drained from his own crying and pain by how limp he was becoming. She situated herself on his bed better and gave him a little push to go ahead and lay down, letting his head rest on her lap as he curled up and held onto her knee.

She cradled his head and softly stroked his matted hair.

“Did the nightmares come back?” She asked him.

All he could do was nod against her.

She sighed. “I wanted you to see…”  _See me_.

“I—I can always see you…you’re always there…in my mind…” He let out.

She gave herself a small smile.

They were like that for a good while until his hand squeezed her knee.

“You’re…staying?” He asked, already used to her leaving so soon.

“I’m staying.” She continued to run her fingers through his hair. “I’m staying right here with you.” She looked up at the camera defiantly.

-

Touka had managed to slip out of Ken’s room, but she had plans on going back as soon as she confronted Haise. And he was already waiting for her at the entrance of the prison cells. He had tried reaching for her hand, but she recoiled from him.

“Don’t touch me. You did this to him.” She gave him a fierce look, making him see the anger that was boiling up inside her.

Haise dropped his hand and sighed. “I didn’t do anything.”

Touka glared at him. “Your subordinates under  _your_  command did this to him.”

“We can’t control what he does to himself, Touka. He’s just that messed up.” Haise reached up to take off his glasses and rub his eyes.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” She looked at him in complete disgust. “That is your brother, Haise. You could at least pretend to give a damn about him for my sake so I don’t think you’re a completely heartless asshole.” Touka walked past Haise, purposefully running into him to make him stumble slightly.

“He killed hundreds of people, including ghouls…your friends!” Haise shouted. His words made Touka stop in her dead in her tracks. Memories of what had happened…what Ken had done…came back to her in a rush. Memories she had wanted to forget, but Haise would never let her forget. “He’s a monster, Touka. He’s a danger to everyone. That’s why he’s locked up. That’s why he deserves everything happening to him.”

Touka turned around to look at him, the coldness in his voice rattling her heart.

“He wasn’t himself, Haise.” She said almost in a whisper.

Haise walked up closer to her. “And that excuses him?”

“No, it doesn’t excuse his actions, but don’t you see that this is him paying the consequences? He’s already punishing himself for what he did. He can’t remember what he did, but his conscious torments him. And you continue to feed that, like you’re getting some sick satisfaction out of watching him suffer.” She had finally said it. She watched as Haise narrowed his eyes at her. “I know your past with him…”

“You don’t know shit, Touka. Don’t accuse me of things you don’t anything about.” There was anger and pain laced in his voice.

She didn’t hit him back with a response, but instead… “If he’s so dangerous, why did you let me get near him in the first place?”

“Because you are his weakness and that, I admit, I’m using against him to get what I want out of him.” He said getting closer to her. He leaned down to her ear. “Just like I know you’re using me to get to him.”

And like that Haise walked away from her.

Touka stood there letting his words sink in, realizing how right he was and how fucked up their relationship had become. She had finally admitted to herself that she had feelings for Ken even if she also had feelings for Haise, but when it came to down to who she loved…

She shut her eyes tightly, feeling guilt creep up on her.

Touka had put herself between two brothers, purposefully using Haise for her own needs, but to also make Ken jealous and she would always wonder if it that contributed to his breakdown.

She had to accept her role in this mess. This wasn’t just on Haise or Ken. She was a fault too.

And now, she had to make things right.

-

She slipped back into his room, finding him still curled up on his bed and sleeping. Her leaving had seemed to disrupt him at all. Good.

She walked back over to him, slipping into his bed and laying down behind him. She held herself up on her elbow and moved over him just a bit until she could see his half bandaged face. His lips were parted, his hands under his cheek and sleeping so soundly.

She couldn’t help herself, reaching over to brush her knocks against his cheek and that was enough to make him stir and turn over onto his back. She could see small dark veins leading up into his bandages. Relief washed over her. He had left his eyes alone and they were healing.

“You’re here…” He let out suddenly, startling her a little.

She reached over to brush some strands of his white hair away from his bandages that were also dry. He had stopped crying. She smiled, brushing her knuckles against his warm cheek.

“I’m here.” She cooed. Her knuckles left his cheek, but she let her fingers linger over his lips. Her touch caused his lips to part and let out a sharp gasp.

“You don’t remember, but last night you showed me you wanted me.” She ran the palm of her hand over his growing arousal through his gown. His breath hitched. “And you want me now, don’t you?” She asked him against his lips, palming him roughly.

He let out a whimper. “Y—Yes…”

She kissed him as she removed her hand from his hardness and he let out a whine in protest, but she focused on undoing the tie holding his gown together and pushed open to expose him.

“Ughh…” He choked out as her hand wrapped around his aching cock. She looked down at him, seeing beads of precum slowly seep out as she stroked him firmly and slowly.

She wanted to take him in her mouth, she wanted to taste him, but the ache between her thighs was stopping her. Her eyes returned to face him, studying his half bandaged face and watching it still contort in pleasure.

She then felt his hand of hers, stopping her strokes.

“S—Stop…I’m going to c—co—“ He couldn’t get the word out. His cheeks burned red.

“Come?” She finished for him.

He nodded with a groan. She immediately took her hand away from him and moved away from him for a moment, getting on her knees and reaching underneath her skirt to remove her panties and undid the buttons of her shirt to leave herself exposed in her bra.

He was lifted himself up on his elbow, panting and moving his head as if he was trying to see where she went.

“Are y—you leaving me?” He asked sadly.

“No, I’m still here.” She cupped his face, shifting herself next to him.

“Wh—What do I do?” He was unsure of this, unsure of himself.

She took his hand on the opposite side and pulled him to her. “Come here.” She told him, helping him get on top of her and fitting him between her legs, hitching her skirt up above her hips.

He was shaking from nerves and excitement, also wondering if this was truly happening. He placed his thighs under hers, lifting her up at a slight angle, and he gasped when he suddenly felt her hand wrap around his cock, guiding him to her entrance until his throbbing tip was pushed between her folds.

“Go ahead, you can do this.” She said, letting go of him as she placed a hand over his cheek, smiling at him even if he couldn’t see her.

He held onto her hips as he let his hips push forward, pushing his all the way inside her until he was buried deep and hugged by her tightening walls. “Ohh…arg!” He groaned at the over intense feeling surging through him. He remained still, wanting to revel in her warmth that was consuming him. “Y—You…oh fu—fuck…” He couldn’t think straight as his hips couldn’t hold back any longer.

He started pumping into her in a slow, steady pace, but his thrusts soon quickened and became more rougher as if he was desperate for a release.

Her fingers lingered over his gaped mouth, feeling his pants against them and her heart fluttered when he took the time to kiss them and then moaned softly against them.

“Is…is th—this okay?” He asked breathless. Even though she couldn’t see his eyes and he couldn’t see her, she could see the expression through his bandages, that of concern. Worried he was in some way doing something wrong or worse hurting her.

“More than okay.” She said softly. She pulled him down to her enough to get near his ear. “It feels good.” She added in a whisper, hearing him groan. She wasn’t lying. He felt good, different. Better.

She widened her legs for him, welcoming his roughness as the friction and his cock began hitting all the right spots, but it was knowing that he was finally inside her that was her undoing. She had craved for this moment for so long and her body proved that.

She came, whimpering and panting softly as her orgasm fueled the fire coursing through her veins. Her walls clenching around him in sweet pulsations that made him grunt and slow his thrusts to relish in the tightness.

He came in a rush, letting out a cry as his cock throbbed deep inside her. She could feel the hot streams of semen fill her, leaving her fully sated. She then flipped the roles, with him under her and her straddling him, still keeping themselves linked together. She wasn’t ready to detach herself from him.

He was still out of breath, but still hungry for more of her. He kept an arm around her, holding her tightly against him as he buried his face between her bra covered breasts, breathing in her scent. His tongue lightly grazing her skin, tasting her.

“Touka.” She let out, massaging the back of his head with her nails.

“Wh—what?” He was confused.

“My name is Touka.” She repeated. Rules be damned.

“To—Tou—ka.” He stuttered. “Touka. Touka. Touka…” Once he could say her name without hesitation, he continued to say it over and over. She loved hearing her name come from him. It made her name sound so pure…

Touka started to hear him sob into her breasts. She pulled him away from her and cupped his face in her hands.

“Are you in pain?” She asked him, worried that his crying was caused by something wrong she had done.

He shook his head, his lips trying to form a smile. “No…it just…feels good…you feel so good, Touka…” He held her tighter against him, thrusting his hips upward into her to make her feel him. She could feel him getting hard again inside her, making her bite back a moan.

Touka leaned in, pressing her lips against his cheek so he could feel her smile. “I got you.” She murmured, moving her hips against him as she looked up at the camera with determination flaring in her eyes.

-


	4. Part Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The longest part of this series. Contains a lot of flashbacks of the brothers, a little insight into what Ken has had to deal with, how he met Touka, and that infamous threesome.

-

_Ken. Ken. Ken Kaneki._

God, she just wanted his name to come out of her mouth. She wanted to whisper his name into his ear, she wanted to cry out his name when he made her come…

_You have to still be careful._

Telling him his name could possibly trigger something in him…make him lash out and become violent…and she couldn’t let that happen.

Touka was laying there next to him, facing him as he faced her as well.

He was still unable to see, but he was very much aware that she was there, especially with her stroking his cheek with her thumb that later moved down to his lips. She traced the outline of his parted mouth, loving how soft and how swollen his lips had become from kissing her so much.

They had spent their night together, making love until she could no longer keep up with him. He could have kept going, somehow having so much stamina for sex. He was so hungry for it, but her body had enough, so much so she instantly fell asleep in his arms with him still inside her. Despite that, she hadn’t slept so soundly and so whole in like this in a long time.

Touka had only woken up when she felt him stroking her folds that were still swollen and covered in his essence. She was still so full of him, but it felt really good…

“I—I love feeling you, Touka…” He had told her, still stroking her as if she was all his, as if she belonged to him.

“You can feel me all you want.” She replied back. She was still groggy from her short slumber, but she laid there as he tore his fingers away from her and moved on to kiss almost every inch of her body. All of his senses were fully attuned, making up for the sight he lacked. The way she smelled, the way she tasted, the way she felt, and the way she sounded drove him even wilder with desire.

It felt right.

Once he was done kissing her and letting his senses have their fun, he fell back in front of her to feel her eyes on him and they remained that way for a good while, soaking in each other’s presences comfortably.

Touka moved her fingers away from his lips and up over the bandages. She had remembered how his left eye had been kept mostly intact and judging by the dark veins leading underneath the bandages, she wondered if maybe she could test his sight on that one eye. She desperately wanted him to look at her, she wanted to feel the warmth of his sight on her.

“Be still.” She murmured as she gently began pull apart the bandages over his one eye, creating a hole for her to check. Once again his skin was veiny and raw, but he had healed enough and she could see a glimmer of his grey iris.

“Can you see me?” She asked barely above a whisper.

He beamed. “You’re so beautiful.”

Touka could feel her cheeks go hot. Only he could do that to her. But as she began to pull her hand away from his face her wrist was snatched by him in a gentle grip. He then guided her hand down between his opened gown and let her feel his stiff cock, causing her to wrap her delicate fingers wrap around him. He twitched in her hand, a sign of his excitement.

She bit down on her lower lip, trying to stifle her moan, not wanting to show how turned on she was. “Again?”

“Again.” He nodded. “P—Please, Touka, please…” He begged, wrapping his hand over hers and making her hand pump him. “I want to see you…”

“I’ll have to leave soon.” Touka sighed softly, continuing to stroke him.

He made a pained sound as if those words she said hurt him. “I—I don’t want to forget…this.”

“You won’t forget any of this. I promise.” She told him, pressing her forehead against his as she let him go, but only to pull him on top of her. She spread her legs for him as he easily fit himself between them. He easily slid his aching cock in between her sticky, wet folds and with one strong thrust he was hugged by her tight walls. She felt so tight and so velvety around him, it was the only feeling he wanted to know. At this rate he knew he wouldn’t last very long.

Even though he could only see Touka through one eye, it was enough for him to take in her beauty as her face was worked into an eye fluttering haze. It was a sight that was so new to him, but at the same time somehow so familiar too.

Touka kept a firm hold of the sides just a little above his hips, feeling his body thrust into her with such intensity it rocked her own up and down his bed. He was rough on her, chasing the high he craved so much for, but roughness was something Touka was used to. This was different though.

“A—Are you…okay?” He asked her worryingly between thrusts.

Touka bit her lower lip and nodded, unable to really speak as she fell deeper into a haze. He placed soft kisses over her face, adding to sweetness she felt from him. He cared so much for her. Touka smiled to herself as she wrapped her around around him, holding onto him as tightly as she could.

Their pants and moans mixed together, filling his cell with sounds he wanted to keep hearing, especially the moment when she came. Her soft mewls and the way her face contorted from bliss were all he needed for him come just moments after her and letting her pulsating walls milk him for every drop, both of them feeling satiated. They struggled to get their breathing back under control, but were too lost in their highs to care.

Once their afterglows settled and they laid back down onto their sides, he stared at Touka while he stroked her cheek with the pad of his thumb.

“I’m going to miss you, Touka…” He said with a cute, but sad smile. It broke Touka’s heart a little. The thought of leaving him, even for a brief moment made her ache. That’s how deeply she had fallen for him. She was scared of what would become of him if she left him.

“I’ll be back as soon as I can and when I do, I’m going to find a way to get you out of here.” Touka was being honest. There was no reason to keep him locked up like an animal. Haise was after information that his brother didn’t have. Touka felt confident in that.

After a while Touka finally made herself get up and get dressed, realizing the sooner she left the sooner she could come back to him. She felt him watch her the entire time, knowing he was simply letting his one good eye drink in everything about her.

Touka turned to look down at him, watching him stare up at her with his one eye. She reached down and pulled his bandage back over his eye with a small smile.

“We should let it really heal up.” She said. “Please don’t pick at your eyes anymore.”

“I won’t.” He answered softly.

Touka leaned down to plant a kiss on his lips. “Try to get some sleep, silly.”

“Roger.” He let out with a bright smile, but he was quick to grab her hand before she was able to walk away from him. “Please…please come back to me, Touka…”

“I promise.” Touka said and then he let go of her.

_Ken. Ken. Ken…_

—

The moment Touka walked out of Ken’s cell she came face to face with Haise, who stood there in his all black attire with the exception of his red tie. He dropped his gaze to the floor as he stuffed his hands into the pockets of his black coat, looking so nonchalant, but it was just a front. She stood there waiting for him to say something. She had done what she did to prove a point to Haise, but as good as it felt to do that, she now dreaded this moment.

“Did you enjoy putting on that show?” Haise asked her as continued to look down at the floor, but his jaw clenched over and over, showing just how upset he was. Her heart raced, she could feel it pounding against her breastplate and it was painful.

Touka was tired of masking how she felt, what was the point of holding back anymore? “What’s the matter, Haise? Didn’t you like it? Because I remember when you had us fuck…”

She wasn’t given the chance to finish as Haise flung himself at her, pushing her up against a wall and wrapping a hand around her neck. He didn’t squeeze though, but there was still enough tightness in his grip to making Touka wince.

“That was different, Touka!” He snapped, his eyes blazing with rage. This was the real Haise that Touka rarely ever saw, the Haise she didn’t want to accept she had fallen for.

“Because you had control back then. That’s what was different, right?” Touka searched Haise’s cold eyes for any hint of an answer and there was just a tiny flinch in his expression. She was right. Touka shoved Haise’s hand away from her. “I’m done being in your control and so is Ken. It’s all over.” She recalled that night that had changed everything for the worse. A night she wished she could undo for Ken’s sake because had it never happened, he would never have been in this situation.

Haise stood there as Touka walked away from him, leaving her words to echo in his head. Control. It really had been about that, hadn’t it?

He looked down at his hands as they began to tremble and then two black drops fell into the palm of one of his hands. It was happening again. His black tears that had started appearing a few month ago. Haise reached up to wipe away the black tears that seeped out of his right eye and tried to ignore it.

His black tears only only fueled the rage coursing through his veins. He was also tired of holding himself back and since he was already going to hell…

He turned, facing Ken’s cell door. Images of what Touka and Ken had done replayed in his mind and his hands curled up into tight fists.

_Both of you are going to see just how much control I still have._

—

The door opened. There were quiet footsteps. Then the door shut again.

_Touka!_

“Tou—Touka?” 240’s head lifted up excitedly, a smile trying to form on his face.

Silence.

“Touka…?” He called out again.

More silence.

240 didn’t like this. He didn’t like this at all.

It’s too quiet.

Too cold.

Whoever entered his room was not Touka…

“Wh—who’s there?” 240 asked, already feeling a sense of dread loom over him. He tried reaching up to undo the bandage over his good eye to see who it was, a hand snatched his to stop him.

“Hello, number 240.” The corner of Haise’s lips twitched, letting go of his brother’s hand.

240 immediately went rigid. His heart stopped. His mouth parted, letting out a loud gasp. He wanted to curl up in a corner and disappear, but he couldn’t fucking move.

“You remember my voice, don’t you?” Haise took two steps closer to his brother. “You know who I am, right?”

240 began to fist his hair, making strained and pained sounds. No. No. NO. This wasn’t happening. Fuck, his head throbbed. It hurt so much.

“Uhh…mmmh…rrgggghh…nnnnhg…” Was all 240 could let out as he hit the side of his head a couple of times with his fist. This was triggering something deep inside him and he didn’t like it.

“Did you have fun fucking my wife last night?” Haise asked him, tapping his foot on the floor. 240 lifted his head at the revelation.

_Touka was his wife?_

_Wife?!_

“You’ve fallen for her all over again, haven’t you?” Haise sighed. “She’s not yours. She never was and never will be.” He then fisted his brother’s white hair, snapping his head back. He could see tears already soaking his bandages and heard soft whimpers coming out of his gaped mouth.

He was pathetic. So pathetic and weak. This was not what he was supposed to be. Something had to snap.

Haise took a deep, calm breath and lowered himself until he was just a couple of inches away from his brother’s face. “And you want to know why she will never be yours? Because you’re rotten.”

_Rotten. ROTTEN. YOU’RE SO FUCKING ROTTEN._

“Nooo…no…no…no no no…” 240 choked out.

_“You’re rotten, Ken. And do you know what happens to a rotten boy like you? They get punished!”_

_No. PLEASE NO. MAMA. PLEASE DON’T HURT ME. PLEASE!_

“Mama…please…no…” 240 wailed. “PLEASE DON’T!!” He screamed.

—

_[Eight year old Haise & Ken]_

“Mama! I’m sorry! I’m sorry! Please stop!” Ken wailed as he kept himself curled up into a ball as the hits kept coming. His mother was relentless in her attacks on her eight year old son, battering him with her fists. She hit him everywhere she could, even as Ken shielded his head with his arms she aimed to strike blows there.

“YOU ROTTEN, ROTTEN BOY!” She screamed at him.

“MAMA!” Ken cried, wanting the pain to stop.

After what seemed like an eternity the pain did eventually stop. It always stopped just when Ken was beginning to feel numb, when his body could no longer register the pain, needing to dull it out before going into shock. Sometimes Ken didn’t know how bad his beatings were until the next day when he was covered in black and blue bruises and could barely move, but it was the blood that lingered in his mouth that reminded him that he had brought this all on himself.

“You never learn, do you?” Haise asked his brother as he plopped down next to him in bed, looking over him. He could see Ken’s black and bloody eye even in the poor moonlight that lit up their room. He then noticed Ken’s busted bottom lip, seeing fresh blood seeping out of the cut that wouldn’t heal because his lips were quivering so much the wound kept opening. Haise lifted a finger and curiously poked his brother’s cut, collecting some blood on his finger as Ken weakly pushed his hand away from his face.

Ken shut his eyes. “I—I thought…mama, would want to see my work.”

Haise rubbed the bit of Ken’s blood between his finger and thumb. “Do you really think she cares about how good your kanji is? She doesn’t. She doesn’t give a shit about what you do or what I do.” Haise sighed as he laid down next to Ken, facing him with a frown. “She doesn’t give a fuck about us.”

“That’s not true, she loves us.” Ken, even after his beatings, always defended their mother. He had been left on the brink of death at least twice before and he still loved her. He always forgave her.

Haise had gotten his share of beatings before when he was younger, but it was around five years old that he figured out the secret to avoiding getting beaten up by his mother: Stay out of her way.

“She doesn’t know what love is, Ken.” Haise placed a hand over Ken’s bruised cheek. The brothers grey eyes connected. “She puts up with us. There’s a difference. I’m the only one who loves you. I’m the only one who will ever love you.” Haise then took Ken’s hand, holding their joined hands in front of each other’s faces. It was something both Haise and Ken did in their shared bed, somehow knowing this is how they were in their mother’s womb. This was Haise’s reminder to Ken that it was always just them. They had only each other. Always.

“I love you, brother.” Ken whispered.

Haise squeezed Ken’s hand. “I love you, too.”

—

_[Eleven year old Haise & Ken]_

Ken watched as Haise walked into their room, beaten and bloodied. Their mother had done a number on him, but that beating was supposed to have been Ken’s. He had made the mistake of telling their mother they were hungry, that there wasn’t any food to eat, and that’s when she came at him with her wild anger. Haise pushed Ken out of the way and took his licks. To their mother, in her fits, she didn’t care who she was hitting as long as it was one of them and lately Haise was the one taking the brunt of the beatings for Ken.

Haise slammed the door behind him and looked up at Ken with rage burning in his eyes. Ken wasn’t sure if that rage was towards their mother or towards him…

“Why did you take my punishment?” Ken asked as Haise walked over to their bed and sat down on the edge on it. He took a deep breath and Ken could swore he heard the sound of a crack come from his rib area, but Haise didn’t even flinch.

“Because I’m tired of seeing you be so…” Haise turned to his brother. “Weak.”

Ken looked down at his feet, feeling guilty. “I’m sorry, Haise…”

Suddenly Haise grabbed Ken by the collar of his shirt and pushed him up against the wall. His eyes were bloodshot and still full of rage, but also sadness.

“Stop! Don’t ever say your sorry to me again! Stop being sorry! Stop being so fucking weak, Ken!” Haise yelled at his brother, trying to knock some sense into him. “I wish you could see what I see…”

“What do you mean? See what?” Ken looked at Haise confused. That’s when Haise let go of his brother and walked away from him, never giving Ken an answer, but it was something that would haunt Ken for the rest of his life.

—

_[Sixteen year old Haise & Ken]_

“Mama is dead and you’re happy about that?” Ken had his hands deep in his pockets and looking down at the concrete floor with tears blurring his vision.

“We’re free, Ken. Free.” Haise had the biggest smile across his face as they walked out of the hospital where their mother had just passed away. Doctors had said she had died from stress that overworked her weak heart, but Haise had hoped it was because it was karma for having put her only sons through sixteen years of hell. So was Haise happy their mother was dead? If it meant no more beatings and no more suffering, then yes, he was happy. He was fucking enthusiastic about it.

Haise looked over at Ken who had the opposite reaction, but Haise has expected it because once again Ken always forgave their mother, even in death. He strode over towards his brother, draping an arm around his shoulders and witnessed Ken sobbing to himself. Their mother didn’t deserve a single tear from them, but Haise didn’t want to make things worse.

“If it makes you feel any better, she’s in a better place now,” Haise bit his tongue. “And you still have me.” His arm tightened around his brother.

Ken sniffled turning slightly to look at Haise who gave him a comforting smile. It did make Ken realize that he still had family, he still had his twin, the one person who had always been there for him.

“We’ll always have each other.” Ken said, inhaling deeply and blinking away tears.

“Always.” Haise continued to smile.

—

_[Eighteen year old Haise & Ken]_

“You’re not going to attend Kamii?” Ken looked on at Haise in astonishment, watching as he packed a suitcase of just some bare essentials. The brothers had always talked about attending Kamii together, just like they had always done things together, but now Haise was changing his mind so suddenly.

“No, I’m not going to Kamii,” Haise sighed, still packing. “I’m going to work for the CCG.” That news was even more bizarre to Ken. Of course they had heard about ghouls and the CCG organization that was helping exterminate that threat, but never did Ken think that his brother would ever want to be involved in that.

“You want to hunt down ghouls?” Ken asked, trying to make sense of why Haise was doing this.

Haise stopped what he was doing and looked up at Ken. “I’m going to become one.”

“Haise…wh—what the hell are you talking about?!” None of this made sense to Ken.

Haise walked up to his brother, grabbing a hold of his shoulders and looked into his bewildered eyes. He knew this must have been shocking to Ken, but he truly felt this was for him. For them.

“They’re doing an experimental surgery, an implantation of the ghoul’s predatory organ. They give investigators a kagune.” Haise looked deep into his brother’s eyes with a soft smile on his face. “We can become ghouls, Ken.”

Ken’s brows furrowed. “ _We_?”

Haise nodded. “I want you to join me,” He wanted his brother to join him in this. They had shared everything together, their hopes and dreams. Why would this be any different? “It wouldn’t be the same without you.”

Ken looked away from his brother, looking unsure, but most of all bothered. His dreams were attend school, to become a literature professor and even try his hand at becoming a novelist. He wanted the simple life or as Haise had told him, the “easy life”. But working for the CCG, becoming some kind of artificial ghoul…

“We could make a difference, Ken. We could be powerful. This could make you strong. This could make you become something great.” Haise’s sincere words were enough for Ken to look back up at his brother and actually consider the option. Ken always saw himself as weak and he did want to become stronger, at one point he told himself he would do whatever it took to be strong, to be like Haise.

Could he make this sacrifice? Could he take that step to finally be useful for something? To make Haise proud?

_I can do this._

“Okay,” Ken straightened his shoulders, looking determined. “Let’s do it, brother.”

A huge smile curled up on Haise’s face.

—

_[Nineteen year old Haise & Ken]_

The brothers had been sparring for hours. Ken had enough, but Haise pressed on, forcing the fighting to continue because Ken’s kagune wasn’t in control. This was too much on Ken’s body though. He hadn’t been following the regime of his training, he wasn’t sleeping, and he wasn’t really eating. The sandwiches they fed him were bland and disgusting, he threw up every bite he forced himself to eat.

After their surgeries things were going okay. Ken couldn’t believe he had actually gone through with the experiment, but Haise was there by his side the whole time. Haise’s strength was Ken’s strength. If he could do it, so could he. Ken was always trying to catch up to his brother. To be as good as him. That’s how it always was.

But then it all went wrong.

Six months after the surgery, after the basic training, Ken began noticing changes in his body. His kakugan was something he wasn’t able to control, causing him wear an eyepatch to cover it up. His body was aching even when he wasn’t training and then the food started to make him sick. It was a domino effect that continued to get worse as time went on, but no one seemed to notice or care. Not even Haise.

To make matters worse, Haise had become a protege of Kishou Arima, the Reaper of the CCG. Arima had an impeccable record of killing ghouls, never losing a fight and now he was molding Haise to be just like him. It changed him.

Haise was taken out into the field a lot sooner than most, especially Ken who was still failing his tests and training. Haise had even taken up a new persona, wanting to be called Haise Sasaki and had joined the Quinx squad. He was moving up in the CCG while Ken was left behind and almost forgotten…

But recently Haise made it his mission to take his brother under his wing, to oversee his progress and teach him what Arima had taught him so far. Though nothing was going as planned.

“I can’t…take this anymore…” Ken huffed, clawing at the floor as the pain that had built up in the pit of his stomach shot through his whole body. Fuck, he was so hungry. This sparring session was wearing him out. He was tired. So fucking tired of it all.

“You haven’t been consistent. If you would only stick to the training regime…” Haise sighed disappointingly, trying to help his brother up off the floor, but Ken rejected him.

“It’s not the fucking training,” Ken groaned. “I’m losing control over this…and I’m so fucking hungry all the time.”

He hadn’t told Haise he had been craving for…blood. Even his own blood, that would seep into his mouth from a busted lip after sparring, was tasting sweet to him. There was something wrong with him, something so very wrong. Ken wanted his brother to notice. To care.

Haise didn’t seem to have any sympathy for Ken as he rolled his eyes at him, taking what he had said as just whining.

“The training would—“

“Fuck the training! Are you not listening to me?! There’s something wrong with me, Haise!” Ken looked up at his brother with pleading eyes. He was in pain and he wanted his brother to help him somehow.

“There’s nothing wrong with you, Ken! It’s all in your fucking head!” Haise yelled.

Ken had never felt so alone as he did in that moment. He shut his eyes tightly as the pain inside him intensified, almost feeling as though his insides were ripping apart and it was consuming him.

“I HATE THIS! I HATE WHAT I’VE BECOME, HAISE!” Ken snapped, looking up at Haise as his kakugan flared in his left eye. His voiced had even altered slightly, sounding deeper and almost in a growling manner. For a moment Haise didn’t see his brother, but someone else. This was a darker side of his brother he hadn’t seen before and in that moment Haise felt a little fear rattle his bones.

And Haise wasn’t going to let Ken get away with it.

“That’s so goddamn typical of you, Ken!” Haise returned the anger right back. “You’ve finally become something and you’re letting your weakness get in the way. Maybe mother was right, maybe you are just rotten.”

It was an instant blow to Ken. His demeanor drastically changed, his kakugan fade and his head twitched sharply as if a switch went off. Haise had never called him that before. Ever. Ken felt a sharp pang in his heart. That’s when Ken realized his brother wasn’t his brother. Not anymore.

—

_[Twenty year old Ken]_

:re. That was the name of the coffee shop Ken had stumbled upon when he left his CCG “prison” for the day. Since that day that Haise had dealt him that heavy blow of calling him rotten, he had gone numb. He was stuck. He had turned off his emotions in front of Haise. It was the only way to stop hurting and for a good while it worked, but part of him wished he could just disappear.

The smell of coffee coming from within :re though had lured Ken inside the building. He could smell coffee, humans…and ghouls. Ken had never really cared for what the CCG had touted as a ghoul epidemic. That wasn’t his war to fight even if he was part of the organization. He had only become a part of it because of his brother and what a mistake that had been.

Ken’s hands fisted into tight balls and his mind slipped into bitter memories that then turned into anger…rage…

“Welcome, would you like to see a menu?” A soft, inviting female voice asked him from behind. Ken suddenly snapped out of his trance and looked over his shoulder, finding a smiling, petite barista with fluffy short blue hair, that fell over her right eye, looking at him with a warm smile. He let out a small gasp upon seeing her. He wished he could have seen her with both his eyes…

_So pretty…_

“Uh, no, thank you, I’m not…hungry.” Ken lied, giving her a smile. He was lying. He was so hungry…but not for human food.

“Some coffee then?” She offered. It must have come across his face how tempting it was because she didn’t stop there. “May I suggest the Manager’s Special?”

He was enchanted by her. He couldn’t say no to her.

“That sounds good.” Ken said.

The barista continued to give him that smile that he had become entranced by, leading him to the counter and having him sit down. He watch attentively as the barista began to make the coffee. She seemed to take pride in what she was doing, taking her time with it and making sure not a single drop was wasted.

“Is the Manager’s Special a popular one?” Ken asked her, still watching her delicate hands.

“Only when I’m around.” She giggled.

His eyes flickered up to her. “Oh, so you…”

She nodded at him. “I’m the manager.”

“What’s your name?” His curiosity got the best of him.

She hesitated, but, after a moment, relented to his question. “Kirishima Touka.”

“Touka.” He quietly repeated her name. He loved her name. Touka set the cup of coffee in front of him. “Thank you, Touka.” He smiled brightly at her, even his eyes smiled at her and it was enough to make her smile as well.

Ken wrapped his hands around the hot cup of coffee, not minding the heat and slight burn, and brought it up to his mouth, blowing ever so slightly over it before taking a small sip. His eyes went wide as the flavor hit every taste bud of his tongue, waking them and savoring every drop before swallowing.

He stared at his coffee for just a moment before looking up at Touka, who seemed to be waiting for a response.  
“This is amazing.” Ken let out, almost breathless. Immediately a smug look appeared on Touka’s face.

“I’ve got you hooked.” She said proudly. Her violet eyes gleamed with such vivaciousness. She was absolutely beautiful. Ken felt a flutter in stomach, a feeling that made him tingle all over.

_Yes, you do have hooked, Touka._

Ken might have just found his place of solace.

—

_[Twenty-one year old Ken]_

It had been almost a year since Ken discovered :re. Almost a year since he had found his place of happiness that belonged to him. He had been going to :re almost every day and had been enjoying the coffee and company of Touka. Of course he maintained a distance from her, mainly because he didn’t want her finding out who he was, what he was, and how his feelings for her were intensifying every day he saw her. And Ken knew she was a ghoul. Everyone who worked at :re was a ghoul. But he didn’t care.

He had also noticed Touka was trying to keep things on a customer only basis, even her coworkers like Renji Yomo and Nishiki Nishio, eyed him cautiously and seemed to have told Touka to do the same. But she was curious. Something about Ken had sparked her interest.

Ken had been reading one of the books provided by the shop. He loved the selection Touka had come up with. She explained that most of the books came from her father, who was also an avid reader. When Ken asked where he was, Touka simply answered: “I don’t know. Maybe a dove will tell me one day.” Dove. As in a CCG investigator. A ghoul killer. Him.

Ken swallowed hard at her answer. He still hadn’t told her that he was training to be a dove. In all their brief conversations he always shifted the attention on her, wanting to hear what she had to talk about. He didn’t like talking about his pathetic life, much less what he did.

From what Ken had gathered from Touka, her life was not as it seemed. She had told him the story of how :re came to be, how doves had ruined her life and the life of her brother, Ayato, who was troubled and involved in Aogiri Tree. She had lost many people in her life and for a time she let revenge consume her. And yet here she was, trying to live in harmony with ghouls and human, giving them this shop as a place to connect and just live.

Ken smiled at her. Even though her story was a sad one, he was content in just hearing her. Her voice. He couldn’t get enough of her voice.

As Ken sat at the counter, reading a book and drinking his coffee for the last remaining minutes before the shop closed, Touka popped up beside him and slid a small plate with a cupcake in front of him. He looked at the chocolate cupcake with its colorful rainbow icing and one single unlit candle on top of it with a confused expression on his face. He then turned to look at Touka who had been biting her lower lip, staring at the cupcake herself.

“It’s your birthday, right?” She asked him, finally peeling her eyes away from the pastry and looked up at Ken, watching as his jaw fell in shock.

“How did you…” He saw Touka lean over with a lighter, lighting up the candle.

“The first day you were here, when you went up to pay for your coffee, your wallet was left out on display and I saw your I.D.” Touka admitted.

“My I.D…” Ken swallowed hard. His I.D. was CCG issued. Touka knew. For almost a year she had known and yet never treated him any differently. “Touka, I…”

“Make a wish, silly.” Touka cut him off, giving him a small smile and motioning with her eyes towards the cupcake. Ken turned back to face the cupcake. He hadn’t celebrated his birthday in years. Haise wasn’t much for celebrating his shared birthday either, until last year when he did celebrate it. With his Quinx squad. This was the first time Ken acknowledged his birthday. Alone.

No. Not alone. Touka remembered.

_Touka._

_I wish to be yours, Touka._

Then Ken took a small breath and blew out the candle. He watched as the smoke filled the air, hoping his wish went with it and would one day come true, hoping the world wouldn’t be cruel to him anymore.

“Did you wish for something good?” Touka asked with a bigger smile.

“Yes.” He nodded.

Her smile never faded. “I hope it comes true for you, Ken Kaneki.”

“I hope so too.” Ken answered, hopeful.

—

_[Six months later - Ken]_

Ken had been enjoying his usual coffee and book when Touka sat down next to him and leaned in close to him. He could feel his heart skip a beat and then two. She always had this effect on him whenever she sat down next him during her breaks, but this had been the closest she had ever been.

“You know, sometimes you drive me crazy.” Touka said with an arched brow.

Ken’s eyes widened. “What?”

Touka leaned in closer, the tip of her nose grazing over the side of his neck. “Your scent. Sometimes it’s so…tempting.” She pulled away, looking at him curiously yet cautiously.

“Is—Is that a bad thing?” He asked nervously.

“Well, you smell good enough to eat.” She teased.

Ken chuckled nervously as his cheeks turned red, something that Touka found so endearing. It was so easy to get Ken flustered. It only added to her bubbling feelings for him, but she would never admit that to him. She had to keep a distance. She had no time for relationships. Especially with someone who was a dove.

“What are you, Ken Kaneki?” She had asked him boldly, propping up her elbow on the counter and rested her cheek against her closed fist, her eyes intently on Ken. The question had taken Ken by surprise, but then again this was Touka, she had been learning him. And he had quickly discovered that not only could he not say no to her, he also couldn’t lie to her.

He had turned away from her, feeling ashamed and disgusted as he began to tell her what had happened to him, the experimental surgery he had gotten thanks to the CCG, and he struggles he had been going through since then. Touka seemed horrified at what the CCG had been doing. She had known about the harvesting of ghouls to make weapons, but to actually turn humans into half-ghouls…

As angry as it made her, she felt only sympathy for Ken. She could see it had broken him. It had made him feel as though he had nowhere to belong. But he could belong here. Touka reached over to take off Ken’s eyepatch. Ken gasped as he felt exposed and quickly covered his eye with his hand, but she gently pulled his hand away from his eye.

“It’s okay, Ken. It’s okay.” She whispered as she made him look at her with both his eyes. Ken’s sight fell on her as she looked back at him with acceptance, even more so when she brushed her fingertips under his ghoul eye and gave him a smile.

She didn’t want to admit it, and she certainly didn’t share her feelings with Yomo or Nishiki, but she was falling for Ken Kaneki. Despite him being an almost complete mystery to her, despite him being a dove and now some kind of experimental hybrid…there was something about him that drew her in deeper and deeper…

“Would you like some more coffee?” She asked, making herself snap out of the trance she was in, dropping her hand away from him as Ken flashed her a sweet smile, a smile that had she been standing would make knees go weak. As much as his smile was able to do things to her, she couldn’t help but notice that there was still a sadness to him. A loneliness that he seemed to try to conceal.

“Yes, please and thank you.” Ken answered her.

Touka gave a smile of her own and went on to make him his coffee, the easiest thing about all of this. She took a little more time with this cup. Keeping Ken in mind the whole time.

Once she poured the coffee and set it in front of Ken, she chewed on her bottom lip as he went on take the first sip.

“You’re crying…” Touka observed, looking at Ken a bit worryingly.

Something was different with this cup of coffee Touka had made him. She had always made her coffee with care, with pride, but this time, and he didn’t know how or why, he noticed a subtle difference. This time it was made with love.

“It’s…delicious.” He let out, reaching up to wipe his eyes.

Touka gave him an almost shy smile, but she was already blushing and she turned away to hide herself. That’s when Ken knew things would be different between them. That’s when he admitted to himself that he had completely fallen for her.

—

_[Haise]_

Haise had noticed something different in his brother. At first he thought Ken was leaving the CCG grounds to clear his head, but then he noticed it was becoming almost every day for hours on end. A routine that went on for a year. And since then he had noticed a difference in Ken’s demeanor, he looked…happy and it was a happiness Haise had never seen before.

Haise took it upon himself to use his investigative skills and figure out what it was that Ken was doing and what was making him happier. He was already jealous of whatever it was, whoever it was. It was Haise’s job to make Ken happy and to know that he had been failing in that, it pained him.

One day Haise kept a distance, following Ken and finding out that he had been visiting a coffee shop and spending hours on end in there. He could see through the window his brother sitting at the counter, chatting with a couple of men and a beautiful woman who often gave him full attention. Had Ken found someone?

When Ken left for the day Haise stayed behind to observe those who worked inside; his curiosity too strong to ignore. He stood back to continue watching this young woman that snatched his brother’s attention. She was beautiful and seemed so friendly with customers, but also playful when one of her coworkers, a chestnut haired man seemed to have said something that caused her to give him the middle finger, but laughed it off.

Haise, after a few hours, finally strode over to the shop. :re. Cute name to match the cute barista. When he walked into the shop the chestnut haired barista eyed him, looking at him confused, but then…

“Holy shit, did you just dye your hair, Ken? I gotta say, the black suits you.” The blue haired woman Haise had been eying walked up to him with a wide smile.

“I’m not Ken.” Haise flashed her a smile of his own. “I’m Haise, Ken’s identical twin brother.”

She looked completely stunned by the news and well, the resemblance. “Wow, you guys really do look exactly alike. Except for the…”

“Hair.” It had always been the hair. Haise never really knew why Ken’s hair was white, Ken didn’t know either, but to the brothers it was nice having just that one thing that set them apart.

“Well, Haise, do you also have your coffee the same way as Ken?” She asked him.

“Let me guess, black, no cream or sugar? No, that’s so boring.” Haise chuckled. “I like my coffee with some spice.”

“I know just the thing.” She smiled heading over behind the counter. Her coworker with chestnut hair pushed up his glasses and seemed to be asking her questions. Once he got them he walked away, but still had a wary look on his face.

“What’s your name?” Haise asked boldly as he sat down at the counter.

“Touka.” She answered, too focused on making coffee to give Haise any expression.

“So, has my brother been coming here long?” He had already known, but wanted to hear it from her. That also when he noticed her expression change slightly at the mention of Ken.

“I’d say it’s been a year since he started coming in here.” Touka looked up at him, setting the cup of coffee in front of him. “He’s never mentioned you.” She added.

“He’s never mentioned you either.” Haise smirked as he took the coffee and blew over the top of it before taking a good long sip. It was damn good coffee. “Do I sense hints of ginger and clove?”

“And a tiny bit of peppercorn.” She grinned.

“It’s excellent.” Haise said honestly, taking another sip. It might have been the best coffee he had ever had.

Haise had spent a good few hours at :re, having long conversations with Touka, mostly stories about Ken that she was eager to hear since he never talked about himself. Stories of the silly things they did as kids and the stupid pranks they pulled on people. Haise even mentioned Ken’s dreams of becoming a writer one day, maybe even dabbling in horror since he loved reading horror novels.

Even when the shop closed and everyone left, leaving Haise and Touka alone, they continued to talk. Touka could definitely tell the differences between Ken and Haise. While Ken was shyer and more reserved, Haise was more confident and bolder. 

“This is all so weird.” Touka admitted. She had been completely blindsided by the fact that this whole time Ken had a brother. A twin. “I’ve learned so much about him from you than I have in all this time he’s been here and you two seem so close, I don’t know why he’s never talked about you.” Haise had been curious of that himself.

“He’s had a rough time lately. I can’t blame him for wanting to escape.” He gave Touka a warm smile even though he was really bothered by Ken’s secrecy.

Haise could see Touka staring at her empty cup of coffee, smiling to herself. Haise reached over to push Touka’s hair out of her face, something that had anyone else done that they would have lost their hand, but just the brief brush of Haise’s fingertips lightly grazing her cheek sent a electric jolt through her and he felt it too.

It was so intense, neither of them knew what to make of it, but it was obvious through their eyes that there was an instant attraction between them. Touka sat there as Haise’s fingers traced along the side of her jaw and then his thumb grazed her parted lips. There was a small gasp that escaped from her. She quickly forced herself to pull away.

“I think you should go.” Touka let out, trying to not let whatever happened affect her in any other obvious way.

Haise nodded. “That’s probably best.”

Touka escorted Haise to the front door and there was a brief silence between them, even as he stepped out of the shop.

Haise turned to face her, giving her a smile similar to Ken’s that was enough to make her legs go a little weak. “It was very nice meeting you, Touka Kirishima.”

“It was nice meeting you too, Haise Sasaki.” She felt her cheeks go a little hot as she shut the door on him.

—

_[Haise & Ken]_

It was another day and there was a smile already on Ken’s face as he got closer to :re. Just thinking about Touka made him so happy. He had been contemplating about what he would do next. Maybe it was time to leave the CCG and maybe he could offer to work at :re, work next to Touka. Maybe it was finally time to do something for himself and all he could think about was :re. Touka. It was all he looked forward to. All he had.

“Hello, brother.”

Ken’s smile quickly faded as he heard his brother’s voice ahead of him. He slowly looked up from the floor and found Haise with his arms crossed, leaning against one side of the shop and with a grin across his face.

“Haise…” Ken let out softly.

“Did you really think you could keep this from me?” Haise teased.

“I wasn’t keeping anything from you.” Ken grumbled. He was lying. Of course he kept this from Haise. He didn’t want Haise knowing anything about :re or Touka. He wanted this for himself.

“I think you and I need to have a chat.” Haise opened the door into :re open for Ken. Ken kept his head low as he walked in.

“Hi, Touka.” Ken heard Haise greet Touka as if he already knew her. Of course he did. That’s when Ken realized that his safe haven had been tainted by his brother. He was never meant to have anything for himself, was he?

Ken looked up for a moment, watching Touka smile over at Haise and then smiled at Ken, but her smile faded when she saw the sadness come over his face. Ken looked away and joined his brother as he took over a booth in a corner. He desperately wished this was some nightmare that he would wake up from at any moment, but it never happened. This was Ken’s reality and it was shared with Haise.

“Stop looking so glum.” Haise sighed. “What did you expect, Ken? I see you improving in your training, you’re not complaining about your pain anymore, but other than that you’ve been completely distant with me.” He was being sincere. It hurt him to see that his closeness with Ken had faded and turned into this. But Ken didn’t say anything. He simply looked out the window, his mind somewhere else. Had Haise lost his brother?

“Your eye has gotten better.” Haise tried to change the subject to something less serious. He reached out to touch Ken’s bad eye, even though both of them were normal. Ken was quick to shove his brother’s hand away from him. He didn’t want him touching him. It was just another blow to Haise.

Haise took a deep breath as he looked over at Touka, who remained behind the counter, looking on at the brothers with concern behind her eyes. He could see she cared for Ken, but Haise cared more. He’d have to prove that somehow.

“You’re really into that barista. Touka.” Haise knew bringing her up would get a reaction out of Ken and it did. It was as though some life had pulsated through him at the mere mention of Touka.

“She’s cute.” Ken let out, still not looking at his brother.

“She’s a ghoul.” Haise noted.

Ken’s eyes flashed over at Haise. Haise had done his fair share of killings, but Ken hadn’t, he couldn’t. Fear coursed through Ken’s veins as he looked at his brother pleadingly.

“Haise…” He was about to beg for Haise to spare Touka, but Haise held up a hand, stopping him.

“Don’t worry, I’m not going to report her or this place.” He said truthfully. “I like it here. I can see why you’ve been coming here.”

Ken let out a sigh of relief, believing Haise. Ken would have done whatever to keep Touka safe, even if that meant clashing with his brother, with the CCG, and becoming a traitor. It would all be worth it for her.

“You should ask her out.” Haise pressed.

Ken shook his head. “No, I’m not going to do that.” She deserved better, especially now.

Haise’s brows furrowed. It was so strange. Haise could see how much Touka meant to his brother, he could see he had fallen for her, but he had no plans on making a move on her. Why?

“You’re not going to do anything about about your crush on her?” He asked Ken. He wanted to know why. WHY.

“No.” Ken snuck a glance over at Touka, who was laughing with Nishiki and Yomo. He felt his lips twitch, wanting to smile at her happiness. As much as he wanted to be with her, to be hers, he knew he could never make her as happy as she is now. He was a burden on everyone. And he didn’t want Haise a part of her life. Touka was better off without him.

And Ken would regret ever making that decision.

—

_[Haise & Ken]_

Ken had been thankful that Haise had maintained a distance from :re, visiting once here and there with Ken. But for the most part it seemed as though Haise had given him his space. Maybe :re wasn’t ruined for him afterall.

It was Touka’s birthday and Ken had gotten a little surprise for her. Since she couldn’t eat pastries, he decided that maybe a little gift would be enough. He had kept in mind that she had mentioned that she loved rabbits, even debated on whether or not to get a bunny as pet one day. 

So, as Ken went on the search for the perfect gift, he wanted to keep it small and simple and picked a rabbit keychain that she could possibly hang on set of keys for the shop. He hoped she would like it.

Ken looked around the shop, but surprisingly Touka wasn’t around. He walked up to the counter and asked one of Touka’s coworkers, Nishiki, where she was.

“Break room. With your brother.” Nishiki said, looking annoyed.

Haise was here? What the fuck as he doing here? And he was with Touka? Ken already felt sick. Something wasn’t right. He felt dread creep up inside him.

“Can I…?” Ken asked Nishiki, motioning over towards where the break room was. Nishiki shrugged, not caring.

Ken walked over to the break room that was deep into the shop, almost towards the bad, and he didn’t even remember his manners to knock. Not when it involved Haise. He opened the door wide open and his heart shattered into a million pieces when he witnessed Touka with Haise and what they were doing.

Touka was up against the wall, with Haise having no shame in claiming her, kissing her fervently with her wrists pinned above her head by one hand as his other hand lingered between her legs.

Ken could hear the moans coming from Touka, watching her fade into a hazy stupor as her head lolled back and her hips went in circular motions against Haise’s hand, his fingers no doubt working her into this state. She was in complete bliss and God, she looked so beautiful.

Haise let his tongue run along the side of her neck, tasting her before turning his head towards Ken. He looked on at his brother through half lidded eyes as if he was silently sending Ken a message. Touka was now his. And this was all Ken’s fault.

“Hah…ha…Hai-se!” Touka cried out his name as she came, her body trembling from the orgasm that hit her. Her head fell forward and her eyes opened slightly, just enough for her to catch Ken standing in the doorway. He stood there looking on at her and Haise with complete disgust and the pain behind his eyes, she felt it instantly in her heart.

“Ken…” She let out breathless, trying to push Haise away from her, but he wasn’t budging. Ken had the little rabbit keychain in one of his clenched fists, almost forgetting he had it at all. He lifted a hand up and opened his fist to have the stupid rabbit stare at him. He then turned his hand, letting the rabbit fall to the floor before walking away.

“Ken, wait! Please!” He could hear Touka call out for him, but he never looked back.

—

_[Haise & Ken]_

Since that day Ken never went back to :re. He never went back for the books. Never went back for the coffee. And never went back to see Touka. It was no secret that Haise and Touka were now together. Haise never brought Touka up when they were together, but Haise was spending his nights somewhere else and Ken had a pretty good idea where he was sleeping.

Ken missed it all and of course he missed Touka. He missed their small chats, her listening intently as he read out loud, her teasing him, her bold questions, her coffee, her scent, her smile…

Touka had made her attempts to talk to Ken, sometimes tagging along with Haise to the CCG just to try to see him and hopefully get his attention, but every time Ken spotted her from a distance, even when their eyes met, he always turned around and walked away to avoid her.

His heart was already broken and every time he saw her a piece of it chipped off…

Ken had tried to numb himself to it all by using his anger and his pain to train more, train better, and he became ruthless in his fighting skills and in the use of his kagune, which had become something the CCG had become very impressed with. 

Ken was also being sneaky in consumption of human meat but also, as he discovered one day, that ghoul meat could also be incorporated into his diet. He soon found out that cannibalizing was what was giving him a lot more strength, giving him that surge of power that overtook any pain he felt.

One night after Ken’s training, he headed back to his flat where he found Haise waiting for him. When it came to dealing with Haise, he had tried to be indifferent towards him and tried his best to control the rage that was boiling up inside him, but he knew he was on the edge of completely snapping. He could feel it. All he needed was that last push…

“What do you want Haise?” Ken asked with absolutely no emotion in his voice.

Haise had also done what he could to avoid his brother, though it pained him to do so. But he knew Ken felt betrayed and knew trying to talk to him wouldn’t work. Even with Touka asking him to talk to Ken for himself and for her, he didn’t. He tried giving Touka her chance to get through to Ken, but he always walked away from her before she could even get a word in.

Touka had been in pain as well, but felt more guilt than anything. Haise did what he could to distract her and  to distract himself, neither of them wanting to make that push on Ken. Out of guilt and out of selfishness.

“I know you’ve been hurting and I’m sorry for that,” Haise sounded like he genuinely cared, but Ken looked at him like he was tired of this conversation before it ever started. Haise went on. “What happened between me and Touka…” He was about to explain, but Ken didn’t want to hear it.

“Don’t.” Ken glared at his brother. There was a warning in his eyes, making it clear to Haise that he would regret bringing up the subject again.

Haise sighed. “Fine. I was trying to lead up to why I’m really here.” He took a deep breath. “I’ve come to propose the idea of a threesome. You, me, and Touka.” Haise was bold, he always had been. But this…this was pushing it too far.

“Will you do it?” Haise asked his stunned brother, waiting for an answer.

Ken had looked away from him, staring blankly at nothing in his flat as he tried to register what Haise had just proposed to him. A threesome with Touka. Was he fucking crazy? He had to be. What did Touka think about this? She would never have agreed something like this.

Ken shook his head. “I don’t think Touka wants—“

“I’m doing it for her, actually.” Haise cut him off.

“Wait, what?” That shocked Ken even more. Haise shoved his hands into the pockets of his pinstripe slacks and shrugged at his brother.

“It’s no secret that she still has feelings for you and so I offered her this opportunity. She agreed to it.” Haise explained.

_Touka has feelings for me…?_

It was all too much to process. Ken couldn’t believe Haise was even here, much less propositioning something that was absolutely insane. He wanted nothing to do with Haise. He would say the same thing about Touka, but he would be lying to himself. Truth was, even though she had broke his heart, he still wanted her. If this was real…if what Haise was offering was real, this was possibly the only way to see her again and to have her for just a least one night.

His mind screamed at him for even considering saying yes to this fucked up idea, but his body…his heart…needed it.

“Of course, this would only be possible under the condition of one strict rule of mine.”

 _Of course._  “Which is?”

“You’re not allowed to come inside her.” Haise said through slit eyes. Ken knew why he had made that rule. That was is way of making sure Touka remained his and his alone and he was making that very clear to Ken.

_So fucked up._

“I’m not even doing it, so you don’t have to worry it.” Ken walked past him, trying to make it towards his room, but Haise grabbed his arm, stopping him.

“You’re really going to turn down this opportunity to be with her? Are you really going to disappoint her?” Haise asked, his jaw clenching again and again. “Are you still weak?” He had to throw that in to make Ken feel guilty because even though Ken had resentment towards him, he knew his brother still very much loved Touka and knew he wouldn’t want to disappoint her. And weak? That made Ken’s blood boil. His brother had no idea how strong he had become…

Ken stood there, letting Haise’s words sink in a little longer before he pulled his arm away from Haise’s grip and gave him a glare. “Fine. I’ll do it. But I have a rule of my own. Don’t touch me.”

Haise smirked at him.

—

_[Haise & Ken]_

Ken had been letting himself get distracted, keeping himself from focusing on what was happening. It couldn’t be happening. Not like this. He tried to remember what had led him to be in this situation…

“Ken.” He could hear his name, but it sounded so faint…so far. “Ken?” His name sounded closer this time. A lot closer. It took for her to touch him to make it real, to make him come back to reality.

It was because of her. Touka. She was the reason why he was here. He couldn’t say no to her.

Ken’s eyes found hers as she cupped his face in her hands and stared at him worryingly. He felt her thumbs stroke his cheeks, soothing him just for a few seconds.

“Hey, are you okay?” She asked him. He could see how much she cared and for a moment it made all this seem okay, but it really wasn’t.

When Ken showed up at Touka’s flat and she opened the door in nothing but a blue silk robe, he immediately began to regret ever agreeing to this game. But when Touka threw herself at him and she wrapped her arms around him in a tight embrace, her scent washed over him, took over him, and he was lost in the moment.

Touka had thanked him for showing up, for doing this. She went on to tell him she had missed him and she couldn’t wait to show him how much she had missed him. And that’s what kept him from leaving at that moment.

So when Touka asked him if he was okay all he could only nod. Ken felt his hands, which had been down at his sides the whole time, curl into tight fists.

“He’s fine, don’t fall for the shy act.” Haise teased, from behind Touka, as he started to undress himself. Shy act? Did he really fucking believe it was just an act? Ken’s gaze locked onto Haise’s, catching his brother give him an amused smirk.

Ken’s eyes fell away from his brother, truly realizing his intentions. That wasn’t Haise just picking on him. This wasn’t Haise bullying him. This was Haise tormenting him…

What did Touka see in Haise? What was it about him that made her pick him?

“Why are you doing this, Touka?” Ken asked almost in a whisper. His question seemed to take Touka a little by surprise, but she kept herself together.

“I like you, Ken.” She flashed him that smile that had made him fall for her in the first place. “But I like Haise too.” She added, placing her hands over Ken’s bare chest. Ken had forgotten he was already half naked in front of her and he could feel his heart skipping beats as she watched Touka lean in, pressing her lips to his chest and began placing gentle kisses over his skin.

“Holy shit…” He let out in a gasp.

“Is it so wrong of me,” She paused her kisses to look up at Ken with lust filled eyes. “To want both of you?” She asked him.

“N—No…” He stammered and Touka went back to kissing his chest. His eyes fluttered as her soft lips trailed down lower, until he could feel her kisses over his abdomen.

“Feels good doesn’t it, brother?” Haise, who was just in his briefs now, asked Ken. Ken snapped out of the haze he had begun to slip into and grabbed Touka’s shoulders, pulling her back up to face him. Haise was just ruining everything…

Ken opened his mouth to object. “Touka, I…”

“Do you want to kiss me?” Touka cut him off with an enticement that left Ken speechless and blinking. He had barely even noticed Haise getting onto the bed on his knees and slipping up behind her, kissing over her shoulder blade.

Ken could only nod, staring down at Touka’s parted, flushed lips. He remembered all those times he was at the shop and would sneak glances at Touka as she talking to customers or her coworkers, watching how her lips moved, how she smiled, and how he hoped one day he would get to kiss her.

Was today really that day?

Touka smiled at Ken. “Then kiss me, silly.” She said, draping her arms over his shoulders, waiting for him to make his move. She hadn’t even paid attention to Haise as he had moved his kisses from her shoulders up to the nape of her neck.

Ken swallowed hard, but he still felt a lump in his throat and fuck, his heart was racing. His face was practically an inch away from her, the tips of their nose rubbed together, and their eyes stayed locked on each other. It felt as though it was just them and not all three of them, until Ken caught a glimpse of Haise fondling her bra covered breasts, kneading them and pushing them together. The backs of Haise’s hands accidently grazed Ken’s bare chest, making him pull away slightly, but Touka caught his face in between her hands.

“Just look at me, Ken.” She whispered to him as her eyes fell down to his lips. “Please, kiss me.” She added in such a needy way. Ken couldn’t refuse her.

He pressed his lips against hers, hearing and feeling a faint gasp as he did so. He didn’t get much of a chance to let the moment sink in before he felt her tongue stroke against his, wanting him to deepen the kiss and he hungrily did so.

Something inside him went off as he kissed Touka long and deep, letting their tongues mash in such a way it made things sloppy, but they craved for it. They wanted more. That’s when Haise took matter into his own hands as he pulled Touka away from Ken and immediately pushed her back onto the bed, leaving her breathless on her back with Ken on her right and Haise on her left.

She chewed on her swollen lip as she took glances at each brother back and forth, letting their eyes drink the sight in front of them. She was completely theirs to use, she wanted them to have their way with her and she made it with known with her eyes.

Haise wasted no time as he reached over and under her, his hands looking for the clasp of her bra. Touka arched her back for him to have easier access and he quickly undid her bra, practically ripping it away from her and exposing her breasts.

Haise groaned as he immediately went in, taking a rosy peak into his mouth. Touka moaned, arching herself slightly into him as her sight fell on Ken who had been entranced by her perfect bosom. He even felt his aching cock twitch inside his pants at the sight of her.

Touka took Ken’s hand, pulling him down closer to her until she had him holding himself up by one elbow as she took his right hand and guided them to the hem of her panties, giving him the hint that she wanted them off her.

“Please…” She let out softly. Ken looked down, briefly seeing Haise as he continued to kiss and suck at her breast, leaving welts that quickly healed when he left them. Ken’s eyes fell to her underwear and quickly began to pull them off her hips, feeling her lift herself up a little to help him ease her panties off completely. Touka kicked them off and spread her legs, cupping Ken’s face as she flicked the tip of her tongue against his parted lips.

“You can touch me, Ken.” Touka said, giving him a reassuring smile, having felt his hand resting nervously over her bare hip.

“Do it, Ken.” Haise let out hoarsely against Touka’s breast, waiting on his brother to make his move before he made his. Ken ignored his brother, not wanting to let him pressure him.

Ken let his hand leave Touka’s hip and fitted it between her legs, his fingers finding her slit. His fingers stroked her folds, finding her so wet and eager. Fuck, what a turn on. And then he pressed a couple of fingers against her clint, making her hiss. His eyes flickered up to her. So sensitive already.

Ken continued to let his fingers give small pressured movements as Haise let a hand slip between her legs as well, inserting two fingers into her folds and pumping them in and out. Touka was overwhelmed by what she was feeling and seeing as both brothers latched their mouths over her breasts, sucking and kissing them…biting them.

Her hands flew to their heads, stroking the backs of their heads and arching her back into them. Ken’s ministrations were picking up speed and becoming rougher as Haise’s fingers also pumped her at a quickened pace. She was overwhelmed. And as Haise hooked his fingers inside her, they found that spot that made her come undone.

The brothers felt Touka writhe beneath them, both of them working together to help her ride out the orgasm that had her in this blissful state. Both of them were satied in seeing Touka in her high, but as the brother turned to face each other, the pain and anger returned.

Ken shut his eyes and pulled his hand away from Touka, already feeling himself want to leave again, but his eyes snapped open when he felt Touka’s hand cup his face.

“Stay with me, Ken.” Touka let out breathless. “You still want me, don’t you?” She asked him.

“Yes, but…” He shut his eyes tightly again.

“Just let go,” She sighed against his lips, making him look at her. “And you can have me, Ken.” She kissed him, making him lose his senses.

Ken’s lips lingered down her throat and down between her breasts as Haise moved in to kiss her lips, kissing her long and deep. And Ken could have sworn he heard Haise whisper ‘I love you’ against her lips. But Ken, already between her legs, reached her core and took in her scent and lost himself a bit more.

His lips lingered against her inner thigh for a moment, letting his tongue taste her skin before reaching her core and letting his tongue delicately trace her folds. She was wet and still stick from her own come from her first orgasm. Ken couldn’t help himself in tasting her essence.

Ken looked up for a moment and immediately regretted it as he watched Touka take Haise’s cock into her mouth. He shut his eyes and wanted to pull away and leave this whole fucked up situation, but his body wouldn’t let him. His tongue continued to lap up all of Touka’s come, which his tongue savored.

“Doesn’t she taste heavenly, Ken?” Haise asked, a quick smirk crossing his face before he let his jaw fall slack again as Touka took his cock deeper into her mouth. “Fuck, that’s good, Touka…really good…” He let out.

Ken ignored Haise as best he could, shutting his eyes and trying to focus on giving Touka what she wanted as the flatness of his tongue slowly stroked her folds, wanting her to feel his tongue lick over every inch of her. His tongue then carefully ran along her slit before resting on her clit with the tip of his tongue flicking against her already sensitive bud.

Touka pulled away from Haise’s cock so should beg Ken. “Fuck…Ken…please, please…” She panted, looking down at him. Ken couldn’t help the grin creep up on his face as he enclosed his mouth over her clit and began to let his tongue work over her.

Touka’s eyes fluttered as she threw her head back, already feeling the knot in her belly. She had been absentmindedly stroking Haise’s cock with her hand slowly, but she returned her attention back on him as she turned to take his cock back into her mouth. Haise groaned as she sucked on the head of his cock and then slowly took him in deeper. He gave a small thrust, hitting the back of her throat and causing her to gag briefly, but it only encouraged her to go on. But as Ken continued to deftly work his tongue over Touka’s clit, her moans added to a vibration against Haise’s cock that was too much for him to handle this point.

“Oh, fuuuuck, Touka…” Haise fisted her hair and still her head as he came inside her awaiting mouth, grunting with each spurt of essence that shot down her throat. He pulled himself out of her mouth and sat back on his heels, watching Touka savor him in her mouth and saw her look at him wantonly. She was insatiable.

Touka turned her attention back on Ken, fisting his white hair as her hips found a mind of their own as they rolled against his mouth. Her body getting impatient, wanting more friction and less teasing.

“Please, Ken…let me come…” She writhed, so needy for her release. Ken could only grin as his hands held her hips down in place, stopping her from moving and finally letting his tongue work her to her orgasm.

Touka’s body tensed and then spasmed as she came, whimpering and gasping for air. Ken lapped up her come, his tongue petting her folds and feeling her throb against his mouth. She really did taste heavenly, just like Haise said. Ken made sure he cleaned her up good, so hungry for her…even wondering what her blood must have tasted like…

_I’m hungry…_

“Come on.” Touka said as she began to undo Ken’s pants, pushing them down along with his briefs. He stood before her completely bare and his cock twitching in relief. Her eyes fell to his cock, seeing how he was well endowed just like his brother. She felt lucky to have been given this moment to have both brothers.

Touka leaned in to run the flatness of her tongue over the slit of Ken’s cock, lapping up the bit of precum seeping from it. He shuddered at the feeling, gasping at the sight and it flooded him with even more desire. Touka took a bit more of his taste, savoring him. He tasted good. Better than Haise. It triggered her kink, but her body needed him inside her.

She helped lead Ken down to the bed, pushing him until he was on his back and she straddled him. Ken was so drunk from lust that he was letting Touka do whatever she wanted.

_Whatever she wants, whatever it takes…_

She reached down between them, guiding him between her slick folds and slowly lowered her hips over until she had completely engulfed him. Ken shut his eyes, groaning at the sweet feeling of her velvety walls so snug around him. He wanted to stay buried inside her. She felt amazing, better than he could have ever imagined and her face, so flushed and perfect.

He reached up to brush her hair away from her perspired skin and she reached up to kiss the palm of his hand before placing it over her breast, knowing it was his favorite new toy. Ken gave her plump breast a good squeeze as he felt her hips slowly take him in and out painfully slow.

Ken could hear groans coming from beside him and when he took a quick glance he found Haise sitting back on his heels, watching Touka fuck him, and jerking off to the sight. Ken was quickly turn away, not wanting to let his brother’s sick desires ruin this for him.

Touka lowered herself down closer to Ken, resting her belly against his, continuing to let her hips do the work. She worked over him slow, but deep. She too wanted this moment to last because it was Ken, knowing that this was the only time they had together, knowing she may never have him again…

Her fingers traced over his parted lips as their moans came out in unison, her hips picking up the pace, and their eyes locked onto each other. Touka never giving Haise a glance, but was fully aware he was there watching. He had a lot of kinks, but never thought this would be one of them. If he was messed up, then so was she of enjoying every second of this. With both of them.

Ken helped Touka reach the right rhythm and the right angle. “God, yes…right there, Ken…” She sighed, riding him faster and harder until her body went rigid with her eyes fluttering shut and her mouth gaping open, letting out a choked out cry as her orgasm wracked her body again.

“Touka…” He moaned as he looked up at Touka, seeing her give him a hazy smile. She was so beautiful in this state of bliss, he wished he could always see her like this.

“Ken…my sweet Ken.” She panted against his mouth, as she continued to move her hips up and down him as her walls clenched over him. Ken threw his head back, feeling his body close to its own release and feeling her walls contracted over his cock was overwhelming and pushing him closer to the edge.

But he remembered the rule. He had to pull out now.

“Touka…wait…I can’t…” He groaned, futility tried removing her from him by trying to push her off by her hips, but he had barely put any strength into it. He wanted this, he wanted to come inside her.

“It’s okay, it’s okay,” She mewled. She knew Haise had set a rule, but she didn’t care. She needed Ken, she needed him completely. “Come for me, Ken…” She moaned into his ear.

It was all Ken needed as his fingers dug into her hips and stilled her movements, but brought her down to him, burying himself deeper inside her as he came. Touka bit down on her lower lip, biting back a deep moan that had escaped from her as she watched Ken’s face contorted in pleasure and felt the sweet pulsations of his cock, feeling his warmth fill her deep inside.

This is what she had wanted, what she had craved for so long, her hips moved ever so slightly, squeezing her walls around him and milking him as she planted soft kisses over Ken’s haze filled face. Ken looked at her through half lidded eyes, feeling so complete in that moment. So happy.

“Touka!” Haise shouted, anger obvious in his voice. Touka wasn’t able to enjoy her moment with as much as she wanted as Haise pulled her off his brother and threw her onto her back on the bed, taking complete control as he fit himself between her legs and slammed himself into her. She let out a soft cry from the sudden intrusion, her core was so swollen, so tight…but it still felt so good. It was as though her body couldn’t get enough of the Kaneki brothers.

Ken had just started to come out of the high he was in and turned to find Haise fucking Touka next to him, trying to undo what he had left inside her. His heart stung all over again and as he tried to turn away, to leave the situation, he couldn’t. Ken looked down to find his hand still linked with Touka’s, their fingers still entwined as she squeezed his hand, trying to keep him there with her. He was being forced to hear the moans and pants coming from Haise and Touka and it continued to chip away at his fragile heart. A very clear reminder that Touka was never, and never would be, his.

He had enough.

Ken tried prying his hand away from Touka’s firm grip and after a few hard tugs he finally got his hand back. He immediately sat up and shifted himself to the edge of the bed just as he heard Touka come again and Haise soon after her. He covered his face for a moment before reaching down for his clothes and began to get dressed.

“This is so fucked up.” Ken thought out loud. Touka made Haise stop, trying to get herself away from him so she could focus on Ken.

She was breathless, but she was concerned as she tried reaching out for him. “Ken, what’s wrong?”

“I don’t want this, Touka.” Ken stood up, buttoning his pants and grabbing his shirt off the floor. He looked like he was on the brink of losing it. He looked at Touka and only her. “I don’t want to share you! It’s wrong!” He shouted.

“This was your only chance to have her, brother. And you’re fucking it up because you feel it’s wrong?” Haise was irritated. Ken had officially killed the mood.

“She shouldn’t be treated this way! I shouldn’t be treated this way!”  _You fucking asshole, piece of shit, trash for a brother._

Ken walked out of the room, putting his shirt back on as he reached the front door and started to put his shoes back on.

“Ken!” He could hear Touka call out for him, but he continued to get ready to leave. He needed to leave this place. Now.

“Ken, please, wait!” Touka came out in her robe again, running up to him. He turned to face her, noticing her legs were shaky and there obvious traces of the brothers dripping down her thighs. Ken looked away, feeling regret hit him.

“I never meant to hurt you…” She felt her chest heavy.

“But you did hurt me, Touka.” His voice was laced with pain.

She flinched. “I know. I’m so sor–”

“Don’t. You picked him.” Ken couldn’t bear to hear her apology and he couldn’t hide the tears building up in his eyes. “So, stop fucking with my head. Just…please, stop.” And he stormed out of the flat.

Touka felt a sharp pang hit her heart. What had she done?

—

_[Now]_

Touka had taken a bit longer than she thought, but she had wanted to make sure Yomo would be prepared for not only her return, but Ken’s as well. Yomo fought her on it, not wanting Ken, after everything he had done, coming into the only safe place they had left. But Touka pleaded with him until he relented.

Now, it was just a matter of getting passed Haise.

Touka headed back towards Ken’s cell, reaching it just as she saw Haise was walking out of it. She noticed his sleeves had been pushed up to his elbows, but when her eyesight fell down she saw that his fists were covered in blood.

_Oh no._

“Haise…?” Touka let out.

Haise turned slightly to face her. That’s when she noticed there was a small splatter of blood over his face as well.

Her heart sunk.

_No…no…_

Touka ran up to Ken’s cell, running past Haise. Once she got inside the cell she covered her mouth in complete horror.

She found him, on the floor in the middle of his cell room. He was curled up into a ball. He had been beaten so badly that he was coughing up blood and he was left wheezing. His bandages were gone and all she could see was his bloody face. His bloody robe. There was blood everywhere. Even his white hair had splotches of blood over it.

She started to cry with her hands shaking violently as she knelt down to him and reached out to him.

“Oh god…” She cried, trying to lift him up, but he screamed in pain. She immediately pulled herself away from him, unsure of what to do to help him.

“T—Tou—Touka?” He choked out, his bloodied eyes opening to try to find her.

“I’m here…I’m here.” She cupped his beaten face in her hands. His brows furrowed as his sad, pain filled eyes found her soft, worried violet eyes, letting himself drown in them for a moment. But then something flickered in his eyes and they suddenly became cold and distant. It was a look that Touka remembered all too well and it was a look that sent a shiver down her spine. Her hands dropped away from him and she suddenly felt…scared.

“I remember everything, Touka.” He let out as his left eye glowed up at her, glowing with pain and rage. “And you’re the reason why I’m in here.”

-


End file.
